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Wednesday, 28 September 2016

The Marriage Series (12)

Just at the time that I was beginning to think that we have come to the end of the marriage series, the Lord is opening up to me something else that needs to be discussed on the issue of marriage. In today’s marriage series, we will be discussing the products of our marriage. What exactly is your marriage producing?
The first truth we need to understand and appreciate is that what you put into your marriage determines what comes out of it. Just like in every production process, the input determines the output. In marriage there are two categories of output which are: the emotional output and the physical output. The possible emotional output ranges from love, peace in the home, friendliness, joy, laughter, happiness, harmony, trust, protection, unity, anger, strive, disaffection, hatred, malice, tears, lack of trust, vulnerability, and all other emotions that fits in like these ones. Then there are the physical outputs which are, children, wealth, physical assets, position of affluence and influence.
The only output of marriage which is not fully determined by the input of the married couples is the issue of child bearing in the sense that children are a gift from God and He alone can choose either to close a woman’s womb or open it. He can choose to delay conception or hasten it. No one can question God on that. But if God has blessed you with children, what becomes of the life of these children is a function of how you train them and the values they have soaked up from you as their parents and so they become a product of your marriage.
We need to take the issue of our inputs in marriage one after the other. First, when you take your time to make sacrifices that is geared towards the unity of both you and your spouse, first the product of your sacrifice is unity in your marriage. This unity is then a raw material for other products to come forth from that marriage. The book of Ecclesiastes says two are better than one, for they have good returns for their labor. So when you have formed a bond of unity and then add to it good and effective labor, the Bible says you will get a good return for that labor; far better than if you have to labor alone. So the output of sacrifice is unity, and the output of unity and labor is prosperity. So what you input into your marriage determines what you get as output.
Again let’s look at another possible input in marriage and what it is likely to yield for us as output. When you input sacrifice again, you get unity as by-product. This unity when mixed with prayers that brings down the intervention of God in your marriage, you get victory over life’s battle. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” So we are understanding better the importance of getting the input right in our marriage.
There are many times we have troubled marriages that leads to disastrous ends, but it’s all a question of input in most marriages. For example, a wife with a very mean and ruthless husband might not win him over with love, but it is guaranteed that this wife can win her husband over with her submission to him as her head and prayers to God. Peter said in 1 Peter 3:1-2 that “wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”
Please note that a man who truly believes in the word of God and does the will of God from his heart will not be mean to anyone let alone his wife. No matter how godly a man appears, in as much as I do not stand to judge any man, I will say a man who maltreats his wife has very little going between him and God. Such a man does not have the fear of God in him.
As a wife, if you desire the output of a loving and caring husband, then you need to invest the input of submission and prayers. And consistency in these inputs, continuing and not stopping will yield for you the product of a loving husband as output.
Also a husband who desires the respect and submission and love of his wife as an output in his marriage, then the input he need for the product he desires is just love and lots of prayers. The love we speak of here is not just any kind of love, but a very sacrificial love that is so deep that it is worth dying for in the manner in which Christ loves us that He died for us (Ephesians 5:25-29). Anything short of this might not be adequate for the product you desire. Then mixing this unconditional love with prayers makes the output a perfect finish. The input of unconditional love is not a once and for all input; it has to be continuous in order to continue to receive the output you desire.
Again sacrifice in marriage produces unity between married couples which is a by-product in whatever output is produced in the lives of your children. The character and values of the children produced in any marriage is determined by the character traits of their parents or those they see and perceive as parent figure. What you feed into your children is what they produce out for you. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Whatever level of training you give your child determines his/her character mold in life, and whatever level of discipline you give to your children determines how disciplined they will grow to become.
So what are the inputs you are putting in your marriage and at what quantity? Are these inputs enough for you to get the desired product you want? I once tried my hands on baking a cake, and what I learnt is that every ingredient is important in a required amount to arrive and the type of cake I want. If I want a very fluffy cake, then I must make sure that I get the right quantity of butter, eggs and flour. Even though the baking powder/soda is the smallest ingredient in the recipe, you cannot do without it in the right amount if you want your cake to rise up. And that is just the way it is in marriage. Just like when baking a cake you need to mix the butter and sugar to a specific texture and color before proceeding in baking, so also is it in marriage. When you put all your inputs together, mix them always in prayers, this you need to do always if your product is to be a perfect finish.

I hope we have learned a great deal in today’s post. In our next marriage series, we will be looking more at marriage and the children. Please just stay with us and we will be here for you. Till then remain blessed. 

The books Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement and Because the Lord Seeks Godly Offspring are available in paper back on Createspace eStore and on for the Nigerian readers. Please get your copy and be blessed by them. Please find below the link address to these materials from the respective online stores for easy access to them.

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