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Monday, 12 September 2016

The Marriage Series (9)

I bless God for another beautiful day and another beautiful time to share a word to bless a soul as I am being blessed continually on this blog.
In my last post I promised that we will be looking at the issue of Marriage and Money. The times we are in now are very trying times, and it is an understatement to say that the economic pressure is being felt in the homes too. Money is fast becoming a major factor generating misunderstandings and quarrels between couples. The question then is: should this be? And how can money issues be resolved in marriages such that it will not be a factor causing problems in the home.
There is this story of a lady seeking advice on what to do; she shares a joint account with her husband and they do practically everything together. They both contribute into this joint account without any problem and embark on big projects together as a unit. In all of these no issues has been recorded, but the problem now is the husband buys a car for his wife with money from the joint account which is fed by the both spouses and only his name appears on the ownership documents of the car. Also the husband buys a landed property from money taken from the joint account and still puts only his name on the title document of the landed property.
This development has made the wife uncomfortable and she politely asks her husband why her own name is also not appearing on the ownership document of these huge assets that was paid for by the two of them, and the husband says she is just being insecure. The lady is now confused, she does not want to feel cheated and at the same time she does not want this issue to smear her marriage.
This is just an example of major issues that can arise in a marriage as a result of money. First, as a woman I appreciate and understand the fears of this woman and I can relate to her concern. So I will not write off her fears as though it is not called for. There are a handful of negative reports coming from the cases of joint ventures like this between husbands and wives, so one cannot really blame this wife if she gets apprehensive about the fact that either deliberately or as an oversight the husband did not include her name on the ownership documents of very huge assets that should belong to both spouses. It would be a very nice and reassuring if the husband can make corrections where necessary and going forward, he needs to understand that he is not alone; he has a wife that needs to be included in the assets ownership too. If it’s okay that she is a joint financier of the projects then she should be a joint owner of the assets too.
This story is one of the many stories that affects marriages and should be discussed, so I trust the Lord to help us understand how to handle cases like this and all money related issues in marriage. The first and most important key point in any marriage is that two has become one. For any marriage to succeed there shouldn’t be an individual pursuit or goal. Everything decision and approach to issues much bear in mind both parties in the marriage union. The moment any of the two begins to see issues from a selfish or self-centered point of view and pursue goals with just himself or herself in mind, problems will begin to brew in that marriage.
It is from this same point of view that we approach money matters in marriage. I totally agree that likes may differ, what women wear surely does differ in appearance and price from what the men wear. There are a whole lot of areas where we have difference in the spending of the man and that of the woman. But even with the issue of money and marriage, when selfishness is removed from the picture, a lot of problems will be solved and much more averted.
The husband is the head of the home; he is the one who holds the responsibility to provide for his family (1 Timothy 5:8), and if he avoids this responsibility intentionally, the Bible says he is worse than an unbeliever; he has denied the faith. So it is totally wrong for a man to stay on the excuse that because his wife is working then he will avoid his responsibility to provide for his family; such a man the Bible says has denied the faith. He is not acting like a child of God should; he is worse than an unbeliever.
One beautiful thing I have discovered about men who hold their responsibilities in marriage very dear to them and perform their duties in providing for their family is that such men do not lack. For a man who takes his responsibility seriously and performs them diligently God will always ensure that such a man is not put to shame. Such men do not lack that which they need to truly be the head of their family in terms of finances.
The secret there is this: God will not make available His resources to a man who would eventually waste it. God is not a waster of resources. But for a man who put God’s resources to proper use, such a man will never live in lack. The Lord who made him the head of the family will also make available all that he needs to perform his duties as head of the family adequately well.
The wife is the suitable helper to her husband, and the Lord did not specify the area of the husband’s life where the wife is required to come in and help. But in every area of the man’s life where help is needed, the wife is God’s assigned suitable helper for him. And this includes in the area of finances, or should I say money. There is absolutely nothing wrong if the husband has a temporary setback financially and the wife steps in and helps. The important thing for the two is that the financial problem of the family is solved. Whoever solved it between the husband and the wife should not be as important as the fact that the problem is solved.
But when the husband leaves all the financial problems of the family for the wife to solve without making any effort at taking up his responsibility on money issues that originally should be his responsibility, then he has denied the faith and no better than an unbeliever.
I cannot over emphasize the fact that goals are better and easily achieved in twos rather than individually. Challenges of life are better handled and overcome when faced in twos rather than individually. The Bible tells us two are better than one because they have a better reward for their labor (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). And that includes handling financial issues in marriage. This is the ideal theory for Marriage and Money. When you handle money issues in your marriage in twos and not individually I guarantee you better results. This works effectively when the husband and wife are selfless in their marriage.
If you have been blessed by what you have learned in today’s blog post, then look forward to something even better. We are working at a very blessed and prosperous marital life for you together and by the grace of God you will get there. In the next post we will need to find out the role the husbands play in the issue of domestic chores of the home. Please share with a friend and bless them too, it’s all at no cost. 

The books "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement" and "Because the Lord Seeks Godly Offspring" are available on Createspace.com and Amazon Kindle. Get a copy for yourself and for your friends and you will be really blessed you did. And for the Nigerian readers, these books are live on http://www.konga.com/rinmoe-books

Createspace eStore:https://www.createspace.com/4309313

Live on Amazon Kindle Store: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HGHVPOU


You get a free kindle edition for every paperback purchased on Createspace eStore. Promo End 30th September 2016





Createspave eStore: https://www.createspace.com/4352171

Live on Amazon Kindle Store: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DW8E3O6

You get a free kindle edition for every paperback purchased on Createspace eStore. Promo End 30th September 2016

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