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Friday, 9 September 2016

The Marriage Series (8)

It’s another beautiful day and another opportunity to share the truth of the word of God. I thank God that today we are alive to the glory and praise of His Name alone. And today we will be discussing on how to handle misunderstandings in marriage.
In this post I will be making a lot of reference to the post on Marriage Series (6) where we looked at the importance of unity in marriage. Misunderstandings are inevitable in any relationship you find yourself in, and as such misunderstandings are inevitable in marriages. There are occasions where the husband and wife will have contrasting views about issues; there are occasions where the husband and wife will betray each other’s trust; cases of infidelity in marriage will arises, disputes will arise over money matters and many other decisions that should be taken that concerns and affects all parties in the marriage. In any marriage that both spouses can say that they have not had any form of misunderstanding at all between them is a marriage where the couples are not been truthful and open with each other.
Now if we say that misunderstandings are inevitable in marriages, then how can this be resolved or handled in a way that it will not lead to a break-up of the marriage?
My answer to this question will need me to refer to the importance of unity in marriage discussed in the marriage series 6. If we understand and agree that the secret to success in life’s pursuit either for you or your spouse is closely tied to unity with your spouse, then you should know and understand that that element of unity in your marriage is far more important than any misunderstanding that you and your spouse have between each other. The drive for success in life should be strong enough in you to understanding that success in life is tied to the unity between you and your spouse and the will to succeed should be stronger than the justification for the misunderstanding between the two of you.
The Bible says we are not ignorant of the devices of the devil; the devil knows that if you and your spouse are united as a force, then nothing you plan to do will be impossible for you and so he will pump pride in you that you will be so pumped up in being on your right and ensuring that the other person knows and accept that he/she is wrong that you forget that being on your right is actually killing the unity in your marriage which is a very vital ingredient to success in all your goals and dreams.
At the end of the day you would have gained the temporary satisfaction of winning the argument, but there would have been a crack in the bond of unity in your marriage. If you are not quick to mend this crack, it grows bigger with every argument won with temporary satisfaction at the detriment of the unity of your home. Without realizing it, the bond of unity in your marriage will reach a point of total collapse. Yes you would have won so many arguments against your spouse, but you would have lost the unity requisite to succeed based on the word of God in Genesis 11:6. 
Now the dreams and goals you would have achieved with less effort and success guaranteed when united with your spouse becomes a very hard task to see through because you are struggling at it alone. It will take much longer time and effort to achieve it if ever you get to achieve these goals before leaving this world.
It is true and correct that you would have won many arguments in your marriage and your spouse might be perceived as the devil that cannot be lived with, but the bond of unity in that marriage would have been broken, the marriage will be a living hell if at all its still is standing. And life becomes more of a struggle than it ordinarily should be. When you now settle down to take account, you wonder if what you have gained is big enough compared to what you have lost.
So in my own view winning an argument in marriage should not be as important as winning the peace and unity of your marriage. The unity of your marriage which is one of the ingredients to success in life is far more important than who is right or wrong in any argument. The unity of your marriage should be of higher priority than any other thing in your marriage. When the unity of your marriage is more important to you, then you have learned the secret of handling misunderstandings in marriage successfully.
I will finish off this post with a short story.
There was a lady who discovered her husband was having an affair outside her marriage, she confronted him about it and though he didn’t deny it, he appeared sorry about what he had done. The woman who very angry as would have been expected of her, she felted betrayed by her husband whom she had given her whole life to. But after been angry for a while, she had to make a decision whether to end the marriage because of what the husband had done or forgive him and move on. As a Christian she began to pray about her hurt. Then with the help of God she evaluated the time of her life she had given into the marriage and the sacrifices she had made for it. She met and married her husband when he was poor and a nobody, now he is rich with affluence. She thought to herself how she labored in prayers and the seed offerings she made to God in prayer for the success of her husband. Will she then give that all up because he betrayed her? She realized she would loose more if she left him and all her effort in his life would be the gains of another woman who would eventually marry her husband who now is a rich man.
So she forgave him and remained in his life. The husband could not believe his wife would forgive him for his mistakes, and he put in extra effort in gaining her love and trust. Now they are happy like two new love birds with the husband having renewed respect for his wife for her decision. And both of them are growing together and becoming even more successful in their goals.
This is what it should be like for those who want to succeed the godly way. If you are so bent on not forgiving your spouse when he/she has wronged you, would you then expect him/her to forgive you when you are wrong and they are right?. So if you would allow pride to overwhelm you when you are on the right, then are you prepared to allow shame to overwhelm you when you are wrong? Sometimes you don’t even need to flog or dwell on the matter, forgive and move on; those misunderstandings and quarrels are just distraction that will not allow you reach your goals and achieve your dreams in the shortest possible time. See them for what they are and move on. May the Lord bless our homes.
If you have been blessed by this post, then stay tuned to this blog. More exciting and inspiring posts are still coming up. It’s getting more exciting every time, and I pray and hope your homes will be blessed. In ninth episode of the marriage series, we will be discussing Marriage and Money.


The books "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement" and "Because the Lord Seeks Godly Offspring" are available on Createspace.com and on Amazon Kindle. Get a copy for yourself and for your friends and you will be really blessed you did. And for Nigerian audience, these books are live on http://www.konga.com/rinmoe-books


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Live on Amazon Kindle Store: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HGHVPOU


You get a free kindle edition for every paperback purchased on Createspace eStore. Promo End 30th September 2016













Createspave eStore: https://www.createspace.com/4352171

Live on Amazon Kindle Store: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DW8E3O6

You get a free kindle edition for every paperback purchased on Createspace eStore. Promo End 30th September 2016
    

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