The Marriage Series 15

Hello beautiful people of God, I pray and believe that we are all having a wonderful time in Christ. Yes the times are hard, but still those who put their trust in God will never be put to shame. You might not be able to rationalize how things will work out, but believe me, they surely will. God is able to make a beauty of any dead situation we might find ourselves.

In my last post I promised to write on the issue of divorce, but I can’t take any credit for what comes out of this blog, all that you read here are birth from the inspiration of God. I am just learning as much as you are, and I can tell you for free that I am applying these principles in my marriage and I have loads of testimonies of how God has proven Himself great in my marriage. I am happily married not because I am lucky, but because I have worked hard to get to this level of comfort in tears and prayers and obedience to the word of God and I have pleasant results to show for it all.

There are several times that I have got feedback for my post where people are of the opinion that it’s easier to write and say these things that I write about, but putting them to use is a different ball game. In truth practicing what is written as guide to a successful marriage on this blog might appear not to be easy for those who have a problem holding down their emotions under control. But like every pursuit in life, it takes a determined heart to succeed. The determination to succeed is not just that you make sense of your marital life, but that you please God and make Him proud of you in the process.

Malachi 2:16

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. 

God says He hates divorce, yet the people of God have not been able to guard themselves in their spirit to find a better resolution to their troubled marriages other than to do what God hates; going for the divorce option. There are several times where we hear the people of God hide under the “irreconcilable difference” phrase to put away their spouses and get a divorce, and so it appears as though such excuse can be admitted as an excuse for a divorce. Jesus, in Matthew 19:7-8 has this to say: “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.” So we are realizing that divorce was birth from the hardness of the heart of man. I am tempted to say that in the plan and purpose of God for marriage at the beginning, the phrase “irreconcilable difference” did not exist.

As a matter of fact there had been a call by so-called men of God for wives to run for their dear lives in cases of abuse in marriage as though that was God’s option for them in dealing with their situation, yet the Lord says He hates divorce and never gave an exception to the rule. If God did not give domestic violence as a reason for Him to permit divorce, it’s because God has better ways of dealing with that domestic violence if only we are opened to hear His instructions, obey His words for that situation and follow His instructions for marriage. You will not die in that marriage no matter the situation if and only if you have the courage to truly search for God, and obey exactly what He tells you to do. If what you hear is contrary to what the word of God says, then it is not God who spoke to you.

The surly and mean husband that we read of in 1 Samuel 25 was the one who died and not his wife. I do not mean to speak down on domestic violence, but a wife who truly has a relationship with God and obeys and follows God’s instruction will be a tool in God’s hands for Him to draw her husband to Himself. She will be the change agent in the life of her husband through which he will know the Lord rather than die as a result of marriage (1 Peter 3:1-2). 

Matthew 19:9

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. 

1 Corinthian 7:10-11

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

When it looked like Jesus gave marital unfaithfulness (not domestic violence) as a justifiable excuse for divorce, God through Paul put the final full-stop to that excuse. The Lord said, if you choose to divorce based on marital unfaithfulness then you will remain unmarried or else be reconciled to your spouse. And this is the verdict of God and not any man. If there be anyone who tells you it’s okay to divorce, be sure of this; such a person is not speaking the mind of God.

If you have had a divorce in your marriage once, I do not stand as a judge against you to condemn you by this post. The Bible said all have sinned have fallen short of the glory of God. And in Christ old things have passed away and all things have become new, so what has been done in the past is actually past. But moving forward, do not let the devil deceive you again to conclude that divorce is the only rational way of resolving marital challenges. God says “He hates divorce” and He is yet to change His made on that.

I have heard and read several people testify that God told them to get out of their troubled marriage and since they did, their lives had taken the turn for the better. My Bible tells me that God and His word are the same. The Lord says God honors His word more than His name, if this God is a God who honors His words more than anything else and He does not change, how come He will say in the Bible that He hates divorce and yet tell some to quickly get a divorce and run out their marriage. There must be a mix up somewhere and since God is not a man that He should lie, neither is He the son of man that He should change His mind, if this is truly the God we speak about, then it wasn’t Him who spoke to these testifiers.

I was once in a troubled marriage, the walls were closing in on me in that marriage and all the goodness of marriage eluded me, like everyone else I had a good mind of walking out of it; I had loads of reasons that for me were justified to say I was done with that marriage, but I prayed. I had known the Lord then and pleasing Him was important to me; so I prayed to God for a sense of direction as I was not in any way happy in my marriage. When He spoke to me He didn’t tell me to divorce, rather He said to me to go and SUBMIT to my husband.

I felt bruised all the more because I thought I submitted to my husband well enough. I don’t speak back at him when he is yelling at me or insulting me and yet the Lord says I should submit. But I dared to obey God and submitted to my husband the more. I did only what my husband wants me to do even though I felt his approach towards issues was not good enough. But still I obeyed, knowing well that it was God I was obeying. Today I am in the same marriage, with the same husband and I am happy; and indeed very happy.and I know this same testimony will be for those to dare to obey the word of God.

I pray you have been blessed by what is shared on this blog and I assure you that there is more to learn as we press towards a blissful marital life. If you have been so blessed please just stay one the blog and expect more and most importantly, share with a friend. Remain blessed.