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Monday, 31 October 2016

The Marriage Series 20

Hello people, how are you doing today? I trust that by the special grace of the living God we are all fine and our homes are flourishing to the glory of the living God.
In my last post I promised to share another story about marriage and trust the Lord that we will learn a thing or two from these stories. So here is promise fulfilled again.

A young hardworking man working with a manufacturing company was given a brand new car in his office. This brand new car didn’t come on a platter of gold as this young man had been long overdue for this benefit which came with a four year repayment plan. It had taken days, weeks and months of prayers and fasting with the support of his loving wife to have this dream come to past.
Finally the car came and as the young man was driving his brand new car home from work at about 4.30pm, he came across a young lady on his way home and gave her a lift. He later arrived home at about 7.30pm and immediately showed his wife the new car, leaving the car keys with her so she can have a good feel of it while he went into the house to take a shower and freshen up from the stress of the day.
He was alerted by the shout of fire alarm raised by the neighbors and rushed to the scene of the fire only to discover that his loving wife had set his brand new car ablaze. Her reason for this bizarre action was that her husband was seen around 4.30pm in a brand new car picking up a beautiful lady on the road. The person who saw him on the road and reported the findings to her had returned to his house more than an hour before despite the usual traffic jam. But her husband returned much later and that translates to the fact that he was beginning to engage in adulterous act and if the brand new car will become a tool of adultery they were better off without it. This wife had gotten a keg of petrol fuel in wait for the husband’s arrival to carry out her act.
The husband kept calm and thanked the neighbors for their intervention but promised to get back to them when the time was ripe to deal with the situation.
Two days later the wife’s sister came visiting with her husband to come congratulate her sister and her husband on the acquisition of their new car and to wish her a happy birthday as that day was her birthday. On getting to the house the wife’s sister and her husband met the remains of the burnt down car and wondered what had happened. The husband pleaded for their patience and invited the neighbors who had witnessed the burning of the car to come hear the conclusion of the matter.
The husband sat his guests and asked his wife to tell her story all over again. After ranting and calling her husband all sorts of indecent names, she repeated her story as she narrated it on the day of the incident and after she was done the husband asked his wife’s sister to comment on all that she heard.
The wife’s sister explained how she was waiting for a means of transportation home on the day the husband was given his new car. At the bus-stop she noticed a brand new car park close to her; as she peeped into the car to see who was in it and why park so close she discover that it was her sister’s husband. He offered to drive her home and when they got her home he waited a while to see if her husband would return early so they could chat. When he had waited a while and the husband did not return he begged to take his leave and she promised that she and her husband will pay them a visit over the weekend and use the opportunity to pray and bless the new car and also wish her sister happy birthday.
It turns out that the assumed girlfriend that the husband was seen picking up on the road was the wife’s sister and no adulterous intent was in the picture of things. How is this man to deal with his wife after this kind of incident?

Before we carry one to call this loving wife many names, I want to point out that many wives do similar stuff in their marriages. I wish to humbly ask that we ask ourselves how many times we have taken very harsh decisions in our marriages without evaluating the matter and weighing it on a scale to balance things out first. How many wives have patiently heard their spouses out first before arriving at a conclusion and taking action? How many have of us have taken actions based on inconclusive investigations? If you have, then you are just as guilty as this loving wife.
In my last post I mentioned that in dealing with marital issues, it is better to deal with the emotion aroused by the situation first before dealing with the situation itself. In the layman’s language it’s called think before you act, some call it look before you leap. But when you think, what you think about is important; the direction of your thought is very important. This wife in question had thought her actions through obviously, but the big problem with her was that her thoughts were full of negativity. She didn’t deal with the emotions she felt, rather she allowed this negative emotion to consume her and dictate her cause of action.
1 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. What this passage tells us is that we have the ability to discipline our emotions; we have the capability to direct our emotions in the path that is right, rather than let it run wild and control our actions. Jesus said in Matthew 19:8 that Moses permitted divorce because the hearts of men where hard. These are men who have not exercise self-discipline on their emotions.
Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” This woman in the story is a godly wife who supported and prayed along with her husband to achieve his dream and then with her own hands tears all that has been achieved down due to her lack of self-discipline on her emotions. Though she is godly yet she is unwise. And so we have a lot of godly unwise women in the world today. They know the word of God, they know how to pray, but still allow their emotions to destroy their sense of reasoning and their ability to take objective decisions.
A very big catalyst to the destruction of many homes is the fanning to flame of negative emotions and allowing it to be the basis of our judgment and decisions in marriage. No beautiful marriage happens by chance, it’s a product of positivity against all odds. You cannot build your home with truckloads of negativity stored up in your heart; you won’t make progress in your marriage when all you perceive of your spouse is negative. Don’t judge your marriage by the outcome of another’s marriage; you don’t know the full story of how they got the negative outcome. No matter what your spouse has done, try to be positive and hear each other out first. May the Lord bless our homes.


In my next episode, I will share another story that I hope and pray we can learn from. Till then please remain blessed. 

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