The Marriage Series 18

Good day to you, trust you are doing great to the glory of God. To say that God is good, is to say the least. In my life God has been awesome. Indeed He has been a very great Father. I thank Him that I am privileged to call Him Father. And I thank Him for your life too. No matter how dark the cloud may be, in the arms of God there is always safety and hope.

So it’s the Marriage Series again and I want to talk a little more about the issue of submission that I had started in the last post. I would really want the women who read this to see the practical gains of submission as God has instructed. I want them not to consider it as a burden or a form of encroachment on their self worth, but as a tool in achieving great things in marriage. In truth submission is a tool of great success in marriage.

Last weekend I was having a discussion with two adult men, one in his late-40s and the other in his mid-50s. I am sure you won’t be surprised if our line of discussion bothered around marriage issues; God has laid that on my heart as a burden and a passion and so every opportunity I have to speak and make impact on a marriage I don’t waste such opportunity at all. Even if its just a gathering of two.

So, we talked about marriage and how to make it work; the errors the women make and the errors men make. I explained to these men that there is almost nothing a woman can’t achieve in marriage through submission. Initially they didn’t agree until I broke it down to them.

I explained to the men that if any of them gave his wife an instruction and she obeyed without questioning, in the first instance he might think there is something she wants from him for her to obey without hesitation. But if she continues in this trend for a very long time without changing, then she begins to win her husband's attention gradually. To this they both agreed.

I later explained to these men that if their wives still continues to obey their instructions much longer, she begins to win their love and affection and they also agreed to that too. So that is simply the way it is, and that explains why God instructed the woman to submit to her husband as unto God. As a wife wanting the joy of marriage, the easiest way to win the love of your husband is to submit to his instructions as head over your life. This is the ingredient to peace in your marriage.

As a woman you would then want to wonder if all these instructions dished out by our husbands are correct, since the Lord wants us to submit to these instructions. In truth our husbands are human and so they make mistakes but if correcting them will cause trouble in the home, then rather than correct, pray that God will guide their decision making and will cushion the effect of any wrong decision they make.

In as much as it will sound uncaring to watch your husband moving in the wrong direction and not bother to put up a word of correction, it is better to avoid a fight in the course of correcting rather than to correct and have a fight in the process. Two wrongs never arrive at a right. When you have a husband who listens and take corrections, then there is no issue giving him your opinion or a word of advise as long as it does not lead to a fight. But when your husband is someone still struggling with ego issues, then it wise to correct him on your kneels at the altar of prayers and let your good attitude, reverence and purity be instruments in the hands of God in bringing about the desired change in him.

In my personal life and based on my experience there have been times when I would lovingly advice my husband against some decisions he is about to take, sometimes he adheres to my advice and rethink his decision, other times he gives me reasons why he thinks his own approach is better, but a lot of times he bluntly just tells me to keep my opinion to myself and watch him do his thing, cause he didn’t ask for my opinion. And yes, this hurts. But I just hold myself in and watch as I am told. And I can tell you for free that a lot of these times, he has had to come back to apologize and hear me out. But it never ends in a fight.

This style of relationship is what I pray and plead that a lot of married women will adopt in their homes. When they apply this approach and play the fool in submission to their husbands in obedience to the word of God, they will influence and affect their husbands more positively.

There is this story that I hope to share in my next marriage series and I can tell you for free that it is worth waiting for. What will you do if you caught your husband cheating on you? Hold your breath and read the details in my next post. Until then, please remain blessed.