The Marriage Series 21

It’s always a beautiful feeling to be in God’s service, serving God’s people with the truth of His word, blessing lives and bringing hope to a lot of marriages. So I am humbly here again to serve you with the word of God in the Marriage Series 21.

I had thought it should be time to end the marriage series and share some other things about the home, but I had promised another story and that’s what it’s going to be on today’s post.

A young Christian lady got married to a young man whom she assumed loved her. She was a born-again Christian and a mentee of a renowned female pastor who is now late. She served the Lord with all her heart and was devoted to her family. She loved her husband even though she didn’t get half as much as she expected from him in terms of love and affection. The relationship had been skewed to one side for the better part of their married life with her giving more into the marriage than her husband.

She got the rude shock of her life after about 10 years of marriage when her husband told her he wanted a divorce as he didn’t love her. He had married her in the first instance to win a bet with his friends who had dared him that he didn’t have the nerve to date her not to talk of marry her owing to her upright reputation as a young lady close to a popular woman of God. Now he wants her to move out of the house so they can have the length of time required by law to be separated before filing for a divorce.  

This wife is not working and she is not ready to beg or fight for her marriage. If the husband wants a divorce, a divorce he will get. All she needs is a little time to get herself together, rent another apartment that can comfortably accommodate her and her children and get a decent means of livelihood.

After hearing this touching story this is what I will say as inspired by the spirit of the living God.

Genesis 2:18-25 tells us about how the marriage institution came into existence, and it is important that as wives we recognize that we were created by God with one objective in His mind; that the wife might be a suitable helper to her husband. This husband need not be upright, righteous, holy, loving, caring and so on. The fact is that you have been created to help the man you married as an assignment by God irrespective of the reaction or response of the husband you are to help. Your marriage is a service to God in itself irrespective of who benefits from the services you are rendering. It is true you love your husband dearly, but still in that marriage you are on assignment for God.

For this young lady, I will tell you that I feel your pain and I understand the emotional trauma that you possibly are going through, but as a child of God, have you sought the face of God on this matter? Is packing your stuff and walking out on your marriage because of what your husband said   the desire of God for you or what God would want you to do in this situation?

Now let me share a bit of my story so you understand better. In those days when my marriage was turbulent and far from sweet and rosy as it should be, I can’t recount how many times my husband had asked me to pack my stuff and leave his house. So many times he had said nasty stuff like the ones your husband is telling you right now. To say I was hurt is to say the least. Just like in your shoes, I also was not working and so was not earning income. But I wouldn’t allow a man trample me under foot. I hardly would talk back at him when he starts his attitude but he did a lot of bartering on my self-worth. I was ready to hold my self-esteem high and I really wanted to leave the marriage then. But because I knew that my life depended on God I kept asking Him what he would have me do. In as much as I was hurting, I understood that allowing my emotions run the show for me might lead to an undesirable end. So I kept praying and asking God for a leading.

Two issues conflicted themselves inside of me, first I knew that God hates divorce and I didn’t want to find myself doing what God hates, then I also knew that God instructed that I submit to my husband in all things. If my husband says he wants a divorce and I should leave his house and God said I should submit to his authority which meant obeying my husband, how can I reconcile that with God saying He hates divorce?  

After praying and hurting for what felt like eternity, I resolved to the fact that if my husband wants me out, then he’ll pack my things out with his own hands and sincerely I will be gone before he knew it. So one of the days he came up with his attitude again, I told him point blank that I am not clinging to him because he is a superman, it’s just for God’s sake and if he really wants me out he knows where the suitcases are stacked and he knows where my clothes are, he should make good his threat by packing my things out by himself and I’ll be gone.

That was when the threat started fading out till I heard no more of such. With prayers, humility and submission, my marriage is a blessed one today. That same man is the loving and caring husband God blessed me with today. To say my husband adores me is an understatement and I have never loved him more than I do today. He tells me over and over again that I am the best thing that ever happened to him, he thanks me for my patience in those times of madness in our marriage. Now I am a queen in the palace of my king and that would never have been if I had allowed my emotions run the show for me.

A lot of people tell me that I am lucky with the man God gave me as husband, if only they know how much I have had to fight, endured, prayed and sacrificed to get to this level of comfort and peace in my marriage and home.

No marriage is without its challenges, but God’s grace is available for us all if only we are willing to tap into it and allow it work for us. If this lady would hear my own story and run to God for grace, I am positive her own testimony will just be as beautiful as mine. And not for just this lady but for as many women who have struggles in their marriages. May God bless our homes in Jesus name.