The Menace Called Domestic Violence

Good day to the very special people of God. Its four days to Christmas and I pray and trust God that it will be a very wonderful Christmas for us all; it will be a memorable Christmas that we will always thank God for in our lives in Jesus name.

Today will just be a little gist on the issue of domestic violence in the marriage. One of the major causes of separation in marriages in today’s world is violence, as a matter of fact it’s an acceptable basis for separation of married couples even among Christians and why God did not give this as an acceptable reason for divorce of marriage is what we need to consider very carefully.

Domestic violence has led to uncountable number of deaths and the scar and consequences of uncontrolled emotions that results in violence last for a life time; and why God did not consider this a good enough reason for a marriage to be annulled calls for serious thinking. Is God missing something here or that we are missing something in the whole issue.

Malachi 2:16

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

For God not to give domestic violence as a reason for divorce in marriage is not because God is missing anything; it’s that we are stiff necked people who have refused to heed to warning. God said, “So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.” You need to put yourself in check to guard against anything that will result in violence in your marriage.

One of the major causes of domestic violence is uncontrolled emotions; another cause of domestic violence is unbridled tongue. And all these are products of lack of understanding of your purpose in marriage and the fact that the married couples see themselves of separate individuals charting their individual courses and pursuing separate dreams. At the end of the day when the dreams are not looking like they will be real someday, frustration sets in and they are so ignorant that they do not know that in order to attain much they need to work together rather than apart. So like I described in my last post, rather than come together to achieve much, they fight each other to the point of complete destruction.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God did not give us the spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

So we see why God is not making an issue of domestic violence, it's because He is certain of the spirit He has given to His own; the spirit of power, love and self-discipline. And so the use of this spirit is our own responsibility. The more you make use of this spirit, the less you open yourself up to domestic violence. This is similar to a case of giving a valuable gift to your child and he/she does not make use of it and then get into trouble as a result of not using the gift that you have made available to him/her.

This is the situation we find ourselves when we fail to make use of the spirit that God gave us; the spirit of power, love and self control. Is it possible for a man or woman who exerts power over his/her negative emotions and puts them in check and under control, and then embrace love at all cost and make quality use of self discipline and still engage in domestic violence. If you ask me, I will say that is not possible. So domestic violence arise as a result of us not making adequate use of the spirit that God has blessed us with; so when this happens, we only have but ourselves to blame.

Proverbs 14:3

A fool’s talk brings a rod to his back, but the lips of the wise protects them.

Proverbs 15:1

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 21:23

He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

Proverbs 17:28

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Proverbs 18:2

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

These are just but a few of the many places in the Bible and especially in the book of Proverbs where God shows us the wisdom of keeping quiet in the midst of trouble. While the world system tells the women to speak up about whatever you don’t like in your marriage, the Bible says it better wisdom to be quiet and avoid any form of strife or quarrel. What you do at times like this is to pray, put up a good attitude and let God do the talking for you. You can be sure He'll say and do more than you can ever think of saying and He'll get you the desired result. 

Proverbs 20:3 says, “It’s to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel,” the world system says its cool not to take any nonsense from people around you including your spouse, but God’s system says it’s more cool to avoid strife. But as children of the most high, we run our lives not by the system of the world, but by the God’s system.

Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone,” if God wants you to live at peace with everyone, then you should understand much more that for as long as it depends on you, you should live at peace with your spouse. In a home where the fear of God reigns, and the instructions of God are truly followed with all your heart and not just with the lips, domestic violence will be a strange thing and as a matter of fact non-existence. No true man of God will engage in domestic violence. Once we let God the captain of the ship of our marriage, domestic violence has no business sailing with us. May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus name. 

Your Marriage is a Battlefield For Spiritual Warfare

Hello people, it’s another beautiful morning and another special grace made available to work through today. Aren’t we just blessed to be counted among the living today, then even more blessed to be well and in good health, and a lot more blessed to have a place to rest our heads at night and much more blessed to have something to eat and a cloth to shield and cover our bodies and I can just go on and on counting how blessed we are despite the many problems we think we have. So for me, I will be among those who will give God quality praise this morning and every other morning that I am privileged to be alive. Not that I don’t have concerns in my life but that I have learned to appreciate God for the things I consider little even though these are things some others may long so dearly for and then show that I am faithful with little and ready for bigger blessings. I think this is a good way to go. What do you think?

Ephesians 6:12 (NKJV)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Last Sunday my pastor preached a message that really got my head spinning; the message explained in plain terms a lot of things in my life. He didn’t give the message a title, I suppose it was a series of messages of which I was not in Church when he started the series, but the summary of his message was that as a child of God, as long as you are a follower of Christ you are in a warfare. You are constantly at war against the principles of idles of this world. The Bible said though we are in the world, but we are not of the world.

This message has ignited a revelation in me about our marriage. It is important that we realize that our destinies and your marriages are two aspects of our lives that need each other for sustenance and fulfillment. When your marriage is stable and working well, the fulfillment of your destiny is easily attainable. A bad marriage slows down one’s growth; when you have problems in your marriage, your entire life is up-side-down. When in a bad marriage, your ability to focus for growth is greatly impaired. So a successful marriage is a catalyst for destiny growth.

But one thing that we need to understand is that the devil who is the prince of the world does not want your destiny to grow; he is not interested in your legitimate successful life. He is not interested in the growth destiny; as a matter of fact, he will work effortless to ensure that your destiny is as stagnant as a still and smelling water and you will begin to run from pillar to post seeking help where you don’t have any business going to.

Because the devil is out to destroy your destiny, he attacks your marriage. So your spouse makes a mistake or acts wrongly, and the devil comes and then sits in your head telling you that the sin of your spouse is unforgivable; you get so consumed feeling betrayed and hurt by your spouse that you don’t have the energy and focus to fight the enemy of your destiny. You are busy fighting your spouse rather than waging war against the devil whose mission is to destroy your destiny.

Paul said our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm; what you need to understand is that your spouse is not the problem; he/she is as much under attack as you are. The war is not a war of the wife against her husband or the husband against the wife, but it is a war of the husband and the wife against the enemy of their destinies which is the devil.

The tactics of the devil is that he ruffles the nest between you and your spouse, and while you are busy being at each other’s throat, he steals that which belongs to you, messes up your lives and destinies and then mocks both of you at your foolishness and then goes ahead to show contempt at God for how foolish the so-called children of God can really be.

One beautiful gift that God has blessed us with is the power of choice; you have the power within you to choose to forgive any wrong your spouse has done to you or to hold on to do the wrong and act on it. In the system of the world to be unforgiving is so allowed, to hit back when someone hits you is so natural, but in the God’s Kingdom where we belong it is different, it is the other way round; it is actually wrong not to forgive; unforgiving is not allowed. You are mandated to forgive all the wrongs done against you in order to show yourself approved as a child of God (Matthew 5:43-48). So if you are to forgive your enemies and pray for those who hate you, then what should be the case if your spouse does you wrong?

These are the truth that the devil just would not want you to see. Your battle is not with your spouse. God said you are no longer two but one in flesh and spirit. What we see are two people, but what God sees is one person in two bodies. When you fight against your spouse rather than fight with your spouse against the true enemy of life, what you are doing is using your own hands to shred your destiny into pieces and the devil enjoys seeing you do that, while you break God’s heart in the process.

Your marriage is a battlefield and the warriors are you and your spouse as a unified one entity against the devil. It is your responsibility to protect your territory against the inversion of the enemy. Don’t let uncontrolled emotions give room for the inversion of the enemy into your territory, if you do, you will be robbed clean and left empty. May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus name. 

Who Do You Run to When You Have Challenges in Your Marriage?

Hello special people of God. I am glad to be alive and most of all to search the word of God with the aim of finding godly solutions to the many marital challenges that marriages today are facing. When you apply the wisdom of God to any challenge you might be facing, it's just a matter of time for such a challenge to fade away. Nothing works like the wisdom and grace of God.

One of the big issues facing marriages today is the influence and interference of external factors in marriages. Sometimes it gets so bad that some married persons actually rely on friends and relatives to make vital decisions in their marriages. At the slightest misunderstanding with their spouse, they are on the phone calling a friend or relative. Yet they have not even prayed or consulted with God on the matter.

I have come to understand over my years of been married that when God declared that a man will leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one, He very well knew what He was talking about. 

One truth is that if you have an argument with your spouse and you report the matter to a third party, the first thing is that you are likely not going to tell the story in a way that will make you out as the bad person. So who ever is going to give you an advice hears just your own side of the story and will not be fully objective in their advice, so in truth you are short changing yourself because you are actually not getting the truth that you deserve.

In the same manner if you report your issues to close relatives, say parents or siblings, they are most likely to take sides with you in the matter because they consider you as their own, irrespective of whether you are wrong or right. This might make you feel good or vindicated in some way, but the big question is: "Does it help your marriage."

Worse of all interference is one that you put your entire marital life on social media and allow faceless people dictate to you how your marriage should be run in the name of advice. The interesting thing in this is that the advice given by this faceless people is one they can't even play out themselves in their own homes, yet they experiment their thoughts on you because you can't make your own decisions and you can kneel to God in prayer and follow His instructions for your life.

I was once in that position where I was so confused about the hard and cruel reality that hit me in my marriage and I would take advice from any and everyone who had something to tell me. All I heard made me angry at my husband the more and we were always at each other's throats in argument. Then I went to see one of those whom I depended on for advice one day and saw her display the direct opposite attitude to what she always told me. It was then I realized that her advice were all a pack of lies, yet I was gullible enough to follow this advice through to the detriment of my own marriage.

I thanked God that I had seen this woman show respect to her husband that day, cause that was the last time I shared  my issues with her.

When God said a man would leave father and mother behind, He had the salvation of your marriage at heart in making that declaration because in truth you really don't need them. When you place your issues before God, He already knows the situation you are in, He knows the two sides of the story, He knows the underlining issues, He knows the motive. He is objective enough to call wrong wrong and to call right right. He alone can tell you and show you how to right the wrong without any error. And the ones you can't handle He'll fix them for you. That to me is the right Person to turn to. And God is the best counselor of all times; very seasoned and extremely accurate. That is where I go to with my many issues and not once have I been disappointed.

With God in your marriage you can't get it wrong. Quit running to people who can't help. They can't do beyond what God permits them to do. Jeremiah 17:5 says cursed is the man who puts his trust in man, don't let your decisions and actions in your marriage be based on advice given by any man, but on the truth of the word of God. When your marriage is in trouble, pray first. If need be the Lord will direct you to the ideal person for you to speak with and such a person will counsel you based on the word of God. If whoever is advising you is not speaking to you based on God's word, then don't apply such advice to your marriage. May the Lord bless your marriages in Jesus name.

Why Let Anyone Snatch Your Husband

Hello beautiful people, a very good and blessed morning to us all in Jesus name. It will be a very blessed day by the special grace of God in Jesus name. Hope we all feel good this morning irrespective of what we are going through. Where you are at now is not the finish line, so please keep moving, the Lord is with you.

Quite a lot of heartwarming responses have been pouring in on this blog, in as much as it makes me feel good, I can’t take all the credit for work done. Writing these messages is just simply the inspiration of God. A lot of times I learn from them as much as you do, and all the time I get to read through some blog post and wonder if I really did write them. But most of all I bless God that these messages are touching lives and blessing marriages and homes; including mine.

So many times you hear women say "that lady/woman snatched my husband and sometimes" it looks like a big misery. If it is possible for a woman to take away what belongs to you, it is simply because she is stronger than you. No thief can come into your house and cart away your goods unless you are out of the house or the thief is heavily armed and powerful enough to overpower you. Other than that it is only a foolish thief ready for death that will come into the house of a strong man to steal his goods. No thief will go into the white house to steal, it’s almost impossible. No thief can enter the Nigerian Presidential villa with robbery on his mind.

In the same manner, no strange woman would have the guts to seduce your husband and lure him to herself unless you are not watchful, paying diligent attention to your God given assignment in the life of your husband and unless you are not a prayer warrior.

Yesterday, I shared a post on the importance of unity in the home; a marriage that is closely knit cannot easily be broken. It is impossible for a lizard to break into a well molded wall except there is a crack on the wall. Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 4:12 that “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” A marriage that is well together and you as a wife have rooted yourself firmly in the life of your husband, fulfilling your God’s given assignment well and are very prayerful, I tell you that your husband will be so consumed by you that he will not have room for another woman in his life.

The solution to this kind of problem or the possibility of it is not about fighting or scaring away every lady that your husband talks to or relates with, the solution is about being the right lady for your husband such that he will not have any need or room for another lady in his life and that can only be achieved by having the right attitude and being prayerful. Know what he wants and give it to him the way he wants it.

If a lady has snatched your husband, it’s because she was able to show him that she has what he needs and you are not giving him yet. Even if he was bewitched, it’s because you are not praying for him and over his life well enough. I do not stand to judge anyone, but I write this as a form of reawakening. You will now gear up for taking back that which was stolen from you. You will pray, you will readdress that issues that needs readdressing, and re-position yourself in preparation to be all that your husband needs and wants in a wife and show God that you are ready to be a suitable wife and helper for your husband and be sure that with prayers your husband will return to you.

I was with a friend one day and she was seeing my husband for the first time. Just after we exchanged greetings and we began to gist she whispered into my ears saying, “You need to be very careful o, your husband is so handsome and if you are not careful, some girls will snatch him from you.” I responded with a smile and told her that I am also too good to be true, if only my husband can find another lady like me in his life on the face of the earth. My impact in the life of my husband cannot be matched by any other woman, so if he looses me honestly it’s going to be a huge lose to him.

Marriage is not supposed to be taken for granted; don’t judge your marriage based on the yardstick of others. If you want it to work, then you need to work hard to make it work. There is a time to sow and a time to reap. Whatever you sow in your marriage is what you reap from it. May the Lord bless our homes and marriages in Jesus name. 

The Secret Tool of Unity In Marriage.

It’s another bright new day and another bright new grace and another bright new mercy and another bright new blessings and it’s just unimaginable how God pulls through with providing all the He knows we need even when we have not asked, not to talk of our never ending requests that come in various shapes and sizes. Indeed God is just awesome. Then before I forget the battles He gets to fight for us that we never even knew existed, and all for one reason and one reason alone, LOVE. No price to pay, no bargain involved, no pay back later, just LOVE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I have often talked about unity in marriage, and sincerely its worth talking about over and over again. Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 4:9 that two are better than one, and then he went ahead to give us reasons to justify his claim and these are pretty true and genuine reasons. Then Jesus said in Matthew 18:19, that if two on earth agrees on anything they ask for, it will be done for us by our Father in heaven. Even God Himself declared that it is not good that man should be alone Genesis 2:18; so there is one very important and effective thing about unity in the home between married couples that destroys the yoke of impossibility and lack in the lives of God’s children.

Without even going scriptural, we will see all around us that when people come together to achieve any set goal, it almost always works. A country that is closely knit together is bound to prosper. An organization that is closely knit together will stand the test of time. The Babylonians of Genesis 11:1-8 were able to go far in their goal of building a tower that reached heaven because they worked as a unified force. Worked stopped and the goal perished only because the Lord scattered their language.

It pains my heart when I hear wives say they cannot pray for their husbands and the husband looks at his wife as a never do good; we fail to understand that the prosperity of our spouse is a great achievement on our person. Yes you might not be a signatory to his/her bank account yet you have achieved must in the sight of God, and achievement of your own goals will not be delayed.

There are stories of spouses helping their partners get to their destinations in life and when there, these partners get carried away by the fortunes that befalls them and forget how they were helped or who helped them to the glorious position they are in. All of a sudden they get consumed in themselves and carry on as though it was their self-effort alone that achieved so much for them. That is why some men feel that when you propel your wife to the top and she becomes a woman of wealth and affluence, she becomes boastful and would not submit to her husband. Also some wives are of the opinion that once their husbands become rich they became adulterous paying less attention to the family that suffered with them.

In as much as these things really happen sometimes with some individuals, the secret in this is that if you are that spouse who has helped (even if all you did was just to pray), this is not the time to get angry or relent. This is the time to gear up for the bigger work. It just tells you that you are not done in your work yet; you still need to carry on the work. You need to pray and fight in the spiritual realm to destroy whatever veil is covering the vision of your partner from seeing and reasoning right.

You can't fight this battle in hatred; you will fight it in love. You won’t fight your husband/wife, because we know that our battle is not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12), but it is against the wrong forces causing them to do what they are doing (which is not acting right).

The more you fight your spouse and build up resentment over what you believe he/she did wrong to you, the more you destroy the bond of unity in your marriage. When unity is destroyed goals and dreams are almost impossible to achieve. God is interested in the agreed request of you and your spouse far above the singular request you make to Him. If the issue you are praying for is supposed to be a joint issue before the Lord that issue will remain pending until it is presented right before Him.

This is possibly why Abraham’s request for an heir lingered long before the Lord even though God had promised him a child; it was because Abraham didn’t carry his wife Sarah along in his request. But Isaac’s prayer got a speedy response because it was a request that had him and his wife on the request list. In the same manner there are a lot of prayers that are still on the pending tray of the Lord simply because it is supposed to go to God as a joint request but it was presented to God by just one out of two. The Lord is still waiting for the second signatory to sign on that request sheet before attention is given to it.

A few weeks ago I was running through my stuff and I came across a prayer request that I and my husband had written just after we got married. In fact it was a list of the things we wanted to achieve as early as possible in our marriage. Twelve years after I noticed that all that was on that list had been achieved and with pride I showed my husband the list and asked him if he remembered the list; it was even written in his handwriting. He looked at it and smiled and said but it took so long to get there. What we had hoped to happen within 2-3 years of our marriage ended up taking almost ten years to see through.

I told him that those years of fights and battling each other and living as strangers and doing things the way each one felt it should be done without any thought for one another in decisions we made and actions we took didn’t count and that has account for about 7 years of the time wasted. So now that we have harmonized our marriage and we now live like husband and wife in the way and manner the Lord intends it to be, we are praying and getting answers because we are doing things in agreement.

From the moment that I discovered this secret, I have always ensured that my goals and dreams and aspirations are in alignment with my husband and when I pray about things I am praying as one praying on behalf of both of us. And things are looking much better now.

I can imagine how grieved God was when He declared that "my people perish for lack of knowledge". The devil is aware of the secret tool of unity in marriage and even in every area of life, but how we manage not to see it or know it is what pains the heart of God. The devil will always work to ensure that you and your spouse do not speak with one voice and act in agreement so that he can rob you blind of your God given treasures and you just blindly let him, while sighting baseless reasons as excuse not to forgive, let go and then you get robbed.

As far as I can tell, there is no offense that your spouse commits that is beyond forgiving if you let God work in you and deal with the situation on your behalf. It is the lie of the devil that his/her sin is unpardonable. Forgive and forget and strive to work as a team with your spouse, because you need each other to get to the top where the Lord has destined you to be.

She Ran For Her Life When She Discovered Her Husband Has Gone Diabolical

I woke up today thanking God and I felt good about it. It’s not that I won a trophy or got a bank credit alert, it’s a little more than that; it’s that I am among the living today, it’s that I have good health, it’s that I am not running over from one hospital to another over a sick child, it’s that I have a functioning marriage and home where the love of God reigns. There are so many things that I don’t have, but there are so many more things that I don’t deserve, yet the Lord has blessed me with them. And I just woke up feeling very thankful; refusing to focus on those things that I don’t have knowing that He who has blessed me this much without deserving it can and will bless me with all that I have asked of him. So I will wait, and while waiting, I will appreciate what I have been given and thank God for them all. 

Today its going to be another marriage story and I pray the Lord will open our hearts to how we can handle our marriage issues right. I hope and pray that the things we learn here are helping us be better husbands and wives in Jesus name. 

Issue

I have been married for some time now and there hasn’t been much issue other than the regular husband and wife squabbles; nothing out of the ordinary. But not too long ago, I had to separate from my husband when I discovered that he had gone diabolical. He is beginning to visit herbalist and sorcerers in search of wealth. My worry is that a man who can bow to pressure and leave the presence of God to resort to herbalist and sorcerers for wealth can actually go to any length to get the wealth. He obviously has sold his conscience and his soul to the devil. More so, I don’t want any man to use my children for wealth ritual.

The difficult aspect of all these is that he was introduced into all these nonsense by his mother and so talking him out of it will be difficult. Rather than risk my life, I have decided to just pack my belongings and my children and leave to safe my life. 

Response

This problem from a glance appears big and any normal person would do just what you have done. But you are not designed by God to be just any normal person, David said God created man a little below angel and then Paul said that the same spirit that rose Christ from the dead lives in us and quickens our mortal bodies to the glory of God’s holy name. So you are supernormal, you are more powerful than normal if truly you are in Christ Jesus and His words are in you. Except you are telling me that you are not born-again. 

In all of these narrations I have not heard you talk about prayers. And we all know that God loves us so much that He will not allow a challenge bigger and more powerful than us come our way. Colossians 2:9-10 says, “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is Head over every power and authority.” Now, I don’t know how strong you are in the faith, but if you believe in the power of a herbalist and sorcerer, should you not believe more in the power of Christ which is bigger, more powerful, more effective and even more dangerous and all the sorcerers and herbalists put together. 

Now if your husband has gone to consult a power that is not of God, and you believe that God has assigned you as a suitable helper in his life, should you not then go acquire a bigger, more powerful, more effective and more dangerous to overthrow that evil power that has taken hold of his life and free from every evil bondage? Interestingly, they say he who runs from a fight today, lives to fight another day. This is your problem to solve and not to run away from, because running away isn’t going to get the problem solved. And if your husband truly possess evil powers, my sister there is nowhere you run to that he won’t get you if he wants to, so the only thing to do is to deal with it and get it resolved and destroyed. 

Ephesians 6:12(NKJV) says, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Now this as the Bible puts it is what you are up against and not your husband. These are your problems that you have to deal with and not the husband that God has assigned you to help. This is where the focus of your battle should be, and what the battle is about is to deliver from husband from their hold and free your marriage and your husband from any evil manipulation. 

Ephesians 6:13-18(NKJV)

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Stand therefore, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all taking the shield of faith with which you will quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and application of the saints. 

2 Corinthians 10:3-5(NKJV)

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. 

Here are the things you need to arm yourself with in order to deal with the situation you have been confronted with. If you say you are a child of God, then act like one because children of the most high king are fearless against the forces of darkness because they have what it takes to do battle and win. They have the power of God in them.  

A sorcerer will say a thing and it comes to pass because he has belief in the power he has employed to do his bidding. There is nothing the sorcerer has that you don’t have much more as a child of God. If the sorcerer believes in his power which he cannot see, then you better start believing in the power that you have in Christ Jesus and make good use of that power in destroying whatever it is that is destroying your peace. 

If you have not don’t that yet, now is the time to give your life to Jesus, and allowed the Spirit of God dwell richly in you. Take kin interest in your Bible, it is the word of God which is your sword to do battle and firm up your faith. With all these you will be amazed at how far you can go in this battle. God knows you can do this victoriously otherwise it won’t be you in this situation, so you better get to work immediately knowing fully well that you can pull this through victoriously. May the Lord bless you and bless your home in Jesus name.

Discussing Practical Issues 4

Good day people of God, how are you doing this beautiful Tuesday, I believe by the special grace of God we are all fine. The Lord will always keep watch over us and perfect all that concerns us in Jesus name. 

I hope you have been enjoying the blog posts as much as I have been; so much lessons to learn and so much has been revealed and I really do bless the Lord for opening the truth of His word to us. 

So today, it’s going to be another story day, and I pray and hope it’s a story that will we can learn from and it will make a great impact on our lives and homes to the glory of God alone in Jesus name. 

Issue

I have been married for about two years now and I loved my wife with every fiber of strength in me. I turned my back on my family and avoided my parents and siblings just because my wife’s pastor asked me to beware of my family as they do not mean me well. I served my wife like a mini god and followed every advice she gave me like a brainless man. I relocated to another country with her even though I didn’t know what the future held for me there just to make her happy. I did everything in this world to please my wife but I am just waking up to the reality of how foolish I have been. In this place I can barely feed myself not to talk of providing for my wife and child. Life has been so hard on me that now I have to run back to my family (parents and siblings) for their forgiveness and assistance. These were that I was made to believe didn't mean well for me. They are the ones the Lord has now used in coming to my aid to ensure that my suffering ends. To say my wife has destroyed my life is just to put it mildly. She does not cook, she does not clean the house, she does not even have time for the child she gave birth do. All my wife does is sit with her phone and chat on social media, aside the fact that she pays good attention to her academics. The big problem I have in this marriage is that my wife was trained to believe that she as the wife should be the one calling the shots and whatever she says must be accepted and adhered to unchallenged. Her mother claims she calls the shots in her house and the same should also apply in her children’s homes. That I will not take from her or her mum and the earlier she knows that the better for her. She is a worker in church, but I am not sure if truly that church is making any positive impact on her. I have prayed and I am still praying and I believe that it is only the fear of God that is keeping me sane and married. But in truth I am a frustrated husband and don’t know for how long I can cope with this.

Response

First I want to salute your effort so far as a husband. The only way that you can effectively attain success in your marriage is by loving your wife unconditionally and that you say you have been doing. I also appreciate the prayer aspect of your narration and I believe that the Lord will uphold your marriage and your home to His glory alone in Jesus name. 

1 Corinthian 11:3 reads, “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God,” and Ephesians 5:23 reads, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which He is Savior.” No matter what obtains between your wife’s mother and father, what the Bible says is that husband is the head of his wife and not the other way round. This you need to register in the mind of your wife in a loving manner. There is a difference between loving your wife and worshiping or idolizing her; what God instructs the husband is to love his wife and not worship her. Exact your authority as the head in your marriage and do so in a loving manner. 

The error you have made in all of this narration is to allow your wife talk you into alienating yourself from your family; no man is an island and we need one another to survive. I don’t dispute that evil exist between siblings and there are cases of extreme sibling rivalry, but as a child of God you have the cover of the blood of Jesus over your life. No one can harm you except the Lord permits; God is your ever present help in times of trouble. The Bible say we should test all spirits, you don’t just accept any man of God into your life because he says he is a man of God. There are many fake men of God on the face of the earth and you just don’t accept any kind of doctrine into your life just because he is your wife’s pastor. You need to pray to God to reveal to you the true identity of whoever is coming into your life in the name of God. You need to test all spirit in line with what applies in the Bible. A man who put an enmity between you and your siblings or parents is not a true man of God to me. The Bible preaches love and not hatred.

Finally I will tell you that there is no marriage without its challenges, you are new in marriage and this is the learning phase where you build the foundation of your life together with your wife. This is the time to let your wife know who you truly are, express your likes and dislikes to her and let her know what you can tolerate and those things that pisses you off; and this you need to do in a very loving manner. You need to firm up as the head and still love sacrificially as the head. You should support her well now that you mentioned something to do with academics and help her grow in her life’s pursuit. You will achieve much when you both pursue your lives goals in twos and not individually. There is power in unity.

Life is never a smooth road my brother, there are times of dry ground and times of rich vegetation so this time of famine in your life will not last as long as you hold unto to God, pray and follow His directions for your life. Learn to hear from the Lord so that you don’t miss that time and opportunity that will bring about the financial turnaround in your life. Learn to be a giver; cultivate the habit of sowing seeds, no matter how little, they will germinate and produce fruits for you in multiples of what was sown.

Don’t stop loving your wife, the changes you desire to see in her life can only happen through love and prayer. Be a loving head over your wife and love her unconditionally as Christ is a loving head over the church. May the Lord bless your home richly in Jesus name.