Good day to the very special people of God. Its four days to Christmas and I pray and trust God that it will be a very wonderful Christmas for us all; it will be a memorable Christmas that we will always thank God for in our lives in Jesus name.
Today will just be a little gist on the issue of domestic violence in the marriage. One of the major causes of separation in marriages in today’s world is violence, as a matter of fact it’s an acceptable basis for separation of married couples even among Christians and why God did not give this as an acceptable reason for divorce of marriage is what we need to consider very carefully.
Domestic violence has led to uncountable number of deaths and the scar and consequences of uncontrolled emotions that results in violence last for a life time; and why God did not consider this a good enough reason for a marriage to be annulled calls for serious thinking. Is God missing something here or that we are missing something in the whole issue.
“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
For God not to give domestic violence as a reason for divorce in marriage is not because God is missing anything; it’s that we are stiff necked people who have refused to heed to warning. God said, “So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.” You need to put yourself in check to guard against anything that will result in violence in your marriage.
One of the major causes of domestic violence is uncontrolled emotions; another cause of domestic violence is unbridled tongue. And all these are products of lack of understanding of your purpose in marriage and the fact that the married couples see themselves of separate individuals charting their individual courses and pursuing separate dreams. At the end of the day when the dreams are not looking like they will be real someday, frustration sets in and they are so ignorant that they do not know that in order to attain much they need to work together rather than apart. So like I described in my last post, rather than come together to achieve much, they fight each other to the point of complete destruction.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us the spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
So we see why God is not making an issue of domestic violence, it's because He is certain of the spirit He has given to His own; the spirit of power, love and self-discipline. And so the use of this spirit is our own responsibility. The more you make use of this spirit, the less you open yourself up to domestic violence. This is similar to a case of giving a valuable gift to your child and he/she does not make use of it and then get into trouble as a result of not using the gift that you have made available to him/her.
This is the situation we find ourselves when we fail to make use of the spirit that God gave us; the spirit of power, love and self control. Is it possible for a man or woman who exerts power over his/her negative emotions and puts them in check and under control, and then embrace love at all cost and make quality use of self discipline and still engage in domestic violence. If you ask me, I will say that is not possible. So domestic violence arise as a result of us not making adequate use of the spirit that God has blessed us with; so when this happens, we only have but ourselves to blame.
A fool’s talk brings a rod to his back, but the lips of the wise protects them.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.
These are just but a few of the many places in the Bible and especially in the book of Proverbs where God shows us the wisdom of keeping quiet in the midst of trouble. While the world system tells the women to speak up about whatever you don’t like in your marriage, the Bible says it better wisdom to be quiet and avoid any form of strife or quarrel. What you do at times like this is to pray, put up a good attitude and let God do the talking for you. You can be sure He'll say and do more than you can ever think of saying and He'll get you the desired result.
Proverbs 20:3 says, “It’s to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel,” the world system says its cool not to take any nonsense from people around you including your spouse, but God’s system says it’s more cool to avoid strife. But as children of the most high, we run our lives not by the system of the world, but by the God’s system.