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Monday, 19 December 2016

Who Do You Run to When You Have Challenges in Your Marriage?

Hello special people of God. I am glad to be alive and most of all to search the word of God with the aim of finding godly solutions to the many marital challenges that marriages today are facing. When you apply the wisdom of God to any challenge you might be facing, it's just a matter of time for such a challenge to fade away. Nothing works like the wisdom and grace of God.

One of the big issues facing marriages today is the influence and interference of external factors in marriages. Sometimes it gets so bad that some married persons actually rely on friends and relatives to make vital decisions in their marriages. At the slightest misunderstanding with their spouse, they are on the phone calling a friend or relative. Yet they have not even prayed or consulted with God on the matter.

I have come to understand over my years of been married that when God declared that a man will leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one, He very well knew what He was talking about. 

One truth is that if you have an argument with your spouse and you report the matter to a third party, the first thing is that you are likely not going to tell the story in a way that will make you out as the bad person. So who ever is going to give you an advice hears just your own side of the story and will not be fully objective in their advice, so in truth you are short changing yourself because you are actually not getting the truth that you deserve.

In the same manner if you report your issues to close relatives, say parents or siblings, they are most likely to take sides with you in the matter because they consider you as their own, irrespective of whether you are wrong or right. This might make you feel good or vindicated in some way, but the big question is: "Does it help your marriage."

Worse of all interference is one that you put your entire marital life on social media and allow faceless people dictate to you how your marriage should be run in the name of advice. The interesting thing in this is that the advice given by this faceless people is one they can't even play out themselves in their own homes, yet they experiment their thoughts on you because you can't make your own decisions and you can kneel to God in prayer and follow His instructions for your life.

I was once in that position where I was so confused about the hard and cruel reality that hit me in my marriage and I would take advice from any and everyone who had something to tell me. All I heard made me angry at my husband the more and we were always at each other's throats in argument. Then I went to see one of those whom I depended on for advice one day and saw her display the direct opposite attitude to what she always told me. It was then I realized that her advice were all a pack of lies, yet I was gullible enough to follow this advice through to the detriment of my own marriage.

I thanked God that I had seen this woman show respect to her husband that day, cause that was the last time I shared  my issues with her.

When God said a man would leave father and mother behind, He had the salvation of your marriage at heart in making that declaration because in truth you really don't need them. When you place your issues before God, He already knows the situation you are in, He knows the two sides of the story, He knows the underlining issues, He knows the motive. He is objective enough to call wrong wrong and to call right right. He alone can tell you and show you how to right the wrong without any error. And the ones you can't handle He'll fix them for you. That to me is the right Person to turn to. And God is the best counselor of all times; very seasoned and extremely accurate. That is where I go to with my many issues and not once have I been disappointed.

With God in your marriage you can't get it wrong. Quit running to people who can't help. They can't do beyond what God permits them to do. Jeremiah 17:5 says cursed is the man who puts his trust in man, don't let your decisions and actions in your marriage be based on advice given by any man, but on the truth of the word of God. When your marriage is in trouble, pray first. If need be the Lord will direct you to the ideal person for you to speak with and such a person will counsel you based on the word of God. If whoever is advising you is not speaking to you based on God's word, then don't apply such advice to your marriage. May the Lord bless your marriages in Jesus name.

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