The Secret Tool of Unity In Marriage.

It’s another bright new day and another bright new grace and another bright new mercy and another bright new blessings and it’s just unimaginable how God pulls through with providing all the He knows we need even when we have not asked, not to talk of our never ending requests that come in various shapes and sizes. Indeed God is just awesome. Then before I forget the battles He gets to fight for us that we never even knew existed, and all for one reason and one reason alone, LOVE. No price to pay, no bargain involved, no pay back later, just LOVE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I have often talked about unity in marriage, and sincerely its worth talking about over and over again. Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 4:9 that two are better than one, and then he went ahead to give us reasons to justify his claim and these are pretty true and genuine reasons. Then Jesus said in Matthew 18:19, that if two on earth agrees on anything they ask for, it will be done for us by our Father in heaven. Even God Himself declared that it is not good that man should be alone Genesis 2:18; so there is one very important and effective thing about unity in the home between married couples that destroys the yoke of impossibility and lack in the lives of God’s children.

Without even going scriptural, we will see all around us that when people come together to achieve any set goal, it almost always works. A country that is closely knit together is bound to prosper. An organization that is closely knit together will stand the test of time. The Babylonians of Genesis 11:1-8 were able to go far in their goal of building a tower that reached heaven because they worked as a unified force. Worked stopped and the goal perished only because the Lord scattered their language.

It pains my heart when I hear wives say they cannot pray for their husbands and the husband looks at his wife as a never do good; we fail to understand that the prosperity of our spouse is a great achievement on our person. Yes you might not be a signatory to his/her bank account yet you have achieved must in the sight of God, and achievement of your own goals will not be delayed.

There are stories of spouses helping their partners get to their destinations in life and when there, these partners get carried away by the fortunes that befalls them and forget how they were helped or who helped them to the glorious position they are in. All of a sudden they get consumed in themselves and carry on as though it was their self-effort alone that achieved so much for them. That is why some men feel that when you propel your wife to the top and she becomes a woman of wealth and affluence, she becomes boastful and would not submit to her husband. Also some wives are of the opinion that once their husbands become rich they became adulterous paying less attention to the family that suffered with them.

In as much as these things really happen sometimes with some individuals, the secret in this is that if you are that spouse who has helped (even if all you did was just to pray), this is not the time to get angry or relent. This is the time to gear up for the bigger work. It just tells you that you are not done in your work yet; you still need to carry on the work. You need to pray and fight in the spiritual realm to destroy whatever veil is covering the vision of your partner from seeing and reasoning right.

You can't fight this battle in hatred; you will fight it in love. You won’t fight your husband/wife, because we know that our battle is not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12), but it is against the wrong forces causing them to do what they are doing (which is not acting right).

The more you fight your spouse and build up resentment over what you believe he/she did wrong to you, the more you destroy the bond of unity in your marriage. When unity is destroyed goals and dreams are almost impossible to achieve. God is interested in the agreed request of you and your spouse far above the singular request you make to Him. If the issue you are praying for is supposed to be a joint issue before the Lord that issue will remain pending until it is presented right before Him.

This is possibly why Abraham’s request for an heir lingered long before the Lord even though God had promised him a child; it was because Abraham didn’t carry his wife Sarah along in his request. But Isaac’s prayer got a speedy response because it was a request that had him and his wife on the request list. In the same manner there are a lot of prayers that are still on the pending tray of the Lord simply because it is supposed to go to God as a joint request but it was presented to God by just one out of two. The Lord is still waiting for the second signatory to sign on that request sheet before attention is given to it.

A few weeks ago I was running through my stuff and I came across a prayer request that I and my husband had written just after we got married. In fact it was a list of the things we wanted to achieve as early as possible in our marriage. Twelve years after I noticed that all that was on that list had been achieved and with pride I showed my husband the list and asked him if he remembered the list; it was even written in his handwriting. He looked at it and smiled and said but it took so long to get there. What we had hoped to happen within 2-3 years of our marriage ended up taking almost ten years to see through.

I told him that those years of fights and battling each other and living as strangers and doing things the way each one felt it should be done without any thought for one another in decisions we made and actions we took didn’t count and that has account for about 7 years of the time wasted. So now that we have harmonized our marriage and we now live like husband and wife in the way and manner the Lord intends it to be, we are praying and getting answers because we are doing things in agreement.

From the moment that I discovered this secret, I have always ensured that my goals and dreams and aspirations are in alignment with my husband and when I pray about things I am praying as one praying on behalf of both of us. And things are looking much better now.

I can imagine how grieved God was when He declared that "my people perish for lack of knowledge". The devil is aware of the secret tool of unity in marriage and even in every area of life, but how we manage not to see it or know it is what pains the heart of God. The devil will always work to ensure that you and your spouse do not speak with one voice and act in agreement so that he can rob you blind of your God given treasures and you just blindly let him, while sighting baseless reasons as excuse not to forgive, let go and then you get robbed.

As far as I can tell, there is no offense that your spouse commits that is beyond forgiving if you let God work in you and deal with the situation on your behalf. It is the lie of the devil that his/her sin is unpardonable. Forgive and forget and strive to work as a team with your spouse, because you need each other to get to the top where the Lord has destined you to be.