Good
day people of God, how are you doing this beautiful Tuesday, I believe by the special
grace of God we are all fine. The Lord will always keep watch over us and
perfect all that concerns us in Jesus name.
I
hope you have been enjoying the blog posts as much as I have been; so much
lessons to learn and so much has been revealed and I really do bless the Lord for opening the truth of His word to us.
So
today, it’s going to be another story day, and I pray and hope it’s a story that
will we can learn from and it will make a great impact on our lives and homes
to the glory of God alone in Jesus name.
Issue
I
have been married for about two years now and I loved my wife with every fiber
of strength in me. I turned my back on my family and avoided my parents and
siblings just because my wife’s pastor asked me to beware of my family as they
do not mean me well. I served my wife like a mini god and followed every advice
she gave me like a brainless man. I relocated to another country with her even
though I didn’t know what the future held for me there just to make her happy. I did everything in
this world to please my wife but I am just waking up to the reality of how
foolish I have been. In this place I can barely feed myself not to talk of
providing for my wife and child. Life has been so hard on me that now I have to run back to my family (parents and siblings) for their forgiveness and assistance. These were that I was made to believe didn't mean well for me. They are the ones the Lord has now used in coming to my aid to ensure that my suffering ends. To say my wife has destroyed my life is just to put it mildly.
She does not cook, she does not clean the house, she does not even have time
for the child she gave birth do. All my wife does is sit with her phone and
chat on social media, aside the fact that she pays good attention to her
academics. The big problem I have in this marriage is that my wife was trained
to believe that she as the wife should be the one calling the shots and whatever
she says must be accepted and adhered to unchallenged. Her mother claims she calls the shots
in her house and the same should also apply in her children’s homes. That I will
not take from her or her mum and the earlier she knows that the better for her.
She is a worker in church, but I am not sure if truly that church is making any
positive impact on her. I have prayed and I am still praying and I believe that
it is only the fear of God that is keeping me sane and married. But in truth I am
a frustrated husband and don’t know for how long I can cope with this.
Response
First
I want to salute your effort so far as a husband. The only way that you can
effectively attain success in your marriage is by loving your wife
unconditionally and that you say you have been doing. I also appreciate the
prayer aspect of your narration and I believe that the Lord will uphold your
marriage and your home to His glory alone in Jesus name.
1 Corinthian 11:3 reads, “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man
is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God,”
and Ephesians 5:23 reads, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is
the head of the Church, his body, of which He is Savior.” No matter what
obtains between your wife’s mother and father, what the Bible says is that
husband is the head of his wife and not the other way round. This you need to
register in the mind of your wife in a loving manner. There is a difference
between loving your wife and worshiping or idolizing her; what God instructs the husband is
to love his wife and not worship her. Exact your authority as the head in your
marriage and do so in a loving manner.
The
error you have made in all of this narration is to allow your wife talk you
into alienating yourself from your family; no man is an island and we need one
another to survive. I don’t dispute that evil exist between siblings and there
are cases of extreme sibling rivalry, but as a child of God you have the cover
of the blood of Jesus over your life. No one can harm you except the Lord
permits; God is your ever present help in times of trouble. The Bible say we
should test all spirits, you don’t just accept any man of God into your life
because he says he is a man of God. There are many fake men of God on the face
of the earth and you just don’t accept any kind of doctrine into your life just
because he is your wife’s pastor. You need to pray to God to reveal to you the
true identity of whoever is coming into your life in the name of God. You need to test all spirit in line with what applies in the Bible. A man who put an enmity between you and your siblings or parents is not a true man of God to me. The Bible preaches love and not hatred.
Finally
I will tell you that there is no marriage without its challenges, you are new in marriage and this is the learning phase where you build the
foundation of your life together with your wife. This is the time to let your
wife know who you truly are, express your likes and dislikes to her and let her
know what you can tolerate and those things that pisses you off; and this you
need to do in a very loving manner. You need to firm up as the head and still love sacrificially as the head. You should support her well now that you
mentioned something to do with academics and help her grow in her life’s
pursuit. You will achieve much when you both pursue your lives goals in twos and not individually. There is power in unity.
Life
is never a smooth road my brother, there are times of dry ground and times of
rich vegetation so this time of famine in your life will not last as long as
you hold unto to God, pray and follow His directions for your life. Learn to
hear from the Lord so that you don’t miss that time and opportunity that will
bring about the financial turnaround in your life. Learn to be a giver;
cultivate the habit of sowing seeds, no matter how little, they will germinate
and produce fruits for you in multiples of what was sown.
Don’t
stop loving your wife, the changes you desire to see in her life can only happen
through love and prayer. Be a loving head over your wife and love her
unconditionally as Christ is a loving head over the church. May the Lord bless
your home richly in Jesus name.
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