It's Hard to Forgive But Forgiveness is the Best Way to Go

In yesterday’s post, I shared a real life story and I believe it was helpful to so many people with challenges in their marriages. So today, I will share another real life story and I pray it will make an impact in your marriages and homes in Jesus name.

Issue

I got married to this lovely young lady; prior to our marriage, in the course of our courtship, I noticed some unacceptable behavioral traits in her and confided in my parents about my observations. At that point of making my discoveries I wanted to call-off the engagement but my mother talked me out of it. She knew my wife’s mother well, and knew her to be a responsible woman. Her thought then was that since her mother was a responsible and respected woman in the society the daughter will not be too bad a wife. She convinced me that everybody had a past and so I can’t condemn my fiancée based on her past. We had several prayers sessions concerning my choice of wife before I finally agreed to proceed with the wedding. But lo and behold my fears were confirmed a couple of months after our wedding when I discovered my wife was having extra-marital affairs. This broke my heart and I could not help but take it out on my mother who convinced me to marry her. I presented my parents with the various undeniable evidences that I had gathered concerning my wife's adulterous lifestyle, and called the marriage quit. I have since relocated to start a new life elsewhere waiting for the divorce proceedings to take its course. This time around I will look well before I jump into any marriage. And I will ensure that I listen to my inner mind and not allow anyone convince me otherwise.

Response

To say that I understand your anger is to put it mildly, but I thank God that you mentioned the phrase sessions of prayers before the wedding took place and your marriage finalized. The fact that you prayed makes all the difference, and if the Lord knew that He was unable to repair and redeem that situation, He would definitely prevent the marriage from taking place.

I am sure you have read about the story of Hosea in the Bible; this tells you that there is nothing new under the sun and the fact that Hosea married an unfaithful wife didn’t mean the marriage was doomed. As a matter of fact God was in it from the beginning. He instructed Hosea to go take an unfaithful woman as his wife and he loved her still. Would you dare to go back to God in prayer to ask Him to intervene in this matter like the story shared in the last post? Would you dare to pray and ask the Lord to take the wheels of this situation off your hands and direct the course of your life and marriage the best way He alone can?

If you get a divorce like you are already trying to, you are justified; but then the fact still remains that you cannot take another wife (1 Corinthians 7:10-11); you are allowed a divorce on the grounds of marital unfaithfulness by the standard of God, but by that same standard of God you have to remain single for the rest of your life or be reconciled to your wife.

Please let your anger burn, but not for too long. And don’t let that anger burn so high that it makes you lose consciousness of God and His will for your life. Don’t let that anger burn to the point that you will lose all the God given favor that is residing in the life of your wife for you. She holds some treasures in her life that belongs to you; God put those treasures there for your life and I beg you not to let the devil rob you clean of God’s treasure due to your anger against your wife.

Prayer for grace to forgive, pray for her to change her ways and be all that God has called her to be in your life and pray that God will open your spirit eye to see the good in your wife outside of her shortfalls. God is still in the business of answering prayers. Love her to repentance and watch God make her into all that He has called her to be in your life.

You are hurting, I know, and it takes great grace to walk through this period in your life, but with God all things are possible. His grace is available for you if you are willing to embrace it. That marriage will rise again in Jesus name.