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Thursday, 2 February 2017

Sometimes Her Words Make Sense

Matthew 27:19
While Pilate was sitting on the judge’s seat, his wife sent this message: “Don’t have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him.”

Today’s post is taking us to the prosecution and trial of the Lord Jesus Christ; the Bible says that while governor Pilate was getting ready to judge the case of Jesus that was brought before him, his wife sent a message of warning to him that he should have nothing to do with the death of Jesus. What struck me in this story is that why was it the wife who suffered a great deal in a dream over a matter that does not concern her directly but her husband?

Another hidden truth about this story is that Pilate’s wife had delivered her message to her husband based on what she experienced in the dream, but the Bible didn’t tell us that she attempted to enforce words on her husband or try to force him into not doing what she advised him against, all she did was deliver the message and left it at that.

The lessons I want us to draw from this two lines of scripture are as follows: The fact that you are head over your wife and the Bible refers to her as the weaker one does not mean that God cannot speak to you through her. She is God’s suitable helper for your life and so she is a potential vessel in the hands of God to speak to you on any and every issue. Do not let ego and pride deprive you of God’s grace for your life through the advice and counsel of your wife. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 31:26 that a wife of noble character speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue; if this is confirmed to be true then a man destined for success will do himself a lot of good by making his wife of noble character his chief adviser.

There are a lot of men who are of the belief that it’s insulting to take advice from one’s wife. They also believe that it’s a weak man who takes advice from his wife; they term a wife advising them on what to do as she controlling them or giving instructions to them. I will tell you that, that is a deprived mentality and a lie of the devil. A wise man will first listen to the advice of the wife, weigh such advice if it’s a wise word or not, before discarding such advice or adopting it.

With God, great things come out of unlikely vessels, and we serve a good Who uses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. No advice is wasted; ultimately they reveal information to you that increases your knowledge whether such advice is adopted or discarded.

I will please encourage that men hear their wives out first whether what she is saying is foolish to their ears or she is making some sense. But as a man/husband, the ultimate decision is yours, and you should always remember that you are answerable to and responsible for the decisions you make whether it is based on the advice of your wife or not. You can't give an excuse that you did wrong because your wife advised you to.

The second lesson is for the wives: I totally agree that God can use a wife to speak to her husband as we see in today’s scripture and also in Judges 13, in the story of the birth of Samson. We remember it was Manoah’s wife the angel appeared to. But note that, because the Lord has spoken to you on behalf of your husband has not made you the head over your husband. It does not also translate to the fact that you should enforce those words or message on your husband. Deliver the message and return on your knees in prayer that the Lord will cause the seed of the words you have sown in the ears and life of your husband to germinate and produce quality fruits.

It is not in your place nor is it your responsibility to ensure that your husband does what you tell him to do, neither is it in your place to enforce anything on him. You are to submit to your husband and not your husband to you. Any attempt to want to ensure that your husband does your will amounts to you trying to dominate or control him. You can be sure this will meet with resistance from him and that is not approved of God.

The wife of Pilate suffered in a dream on behalf of her husband and she warned him based on that. But that didn’t stop Pilate from handing Jesus over to be crucified and we didn’t read that Pilate and his wife had a great fight after that judgment; neither did she stop to be Mrs. Pilate after that. So as a wife you need to know when to act and when to refrain from acting.

A lot of women claim they try to correct their husbands from some attitude/s that they have adjudged not right, but the earlier we realize as wives that it is not in our place to correct our husbands or recreate them to suits our ideology the better for us, and our marriage will be more peaceful. When you see your husband doing what is not right, pray first. Then speak to him about it in a very humble and polite manner and then leave it there. Go back on your knees and pray to God over the seed of the words you have spoken to him, that the Lord will water it from heaven and cause it to germinate and produce good fruit. You will be amazed at the changes you will experience in the life of your husband as you hand the bad habit over to God rather than continue to nag about it and erode the peace of your marriage.

May the Lord bless our homes and marriages.    

1 comment:

  1. This is a very interesting article and I can't resist to make a comment. This is about understanding what leadership or headship is all about. When I run my business - I am the Founder and President of my Company - I am the head of the company. But I CANNOT DO everything. So, I hire people who have expertise in various areas. For instance, I may hire a mechanical engineer. I have NO expertise in this area. An excellent leader surrounds himself or herself with all the expertise he or she needs to make THE ENTERPRISE succeed in its mission.Even though I am the Founder and President of my Company, I cannot contradict the ADVICE of the Mechanical Engineer. It would be foolish to do so. The mechanical engineer knows more than me in that area. So, THE MECHANICAL ENGINEER is the Expert in his or her field. I MUST HONOR THAT EXPERTISE. Otherwise, the whole mission of my own business will fail.

    In the same way, I am the HEAD of my Household. If my wife has more insight, understanding, wisdom, knowledge or expertise in one area, I MUST EMPOWER HER to bring that so that THE MISSION OF THE HOUSEHOLD may be successful. If I insist that because I am the head / leader I must be the only one to give ideas, that is foolishness.

    So, men who do not understand this concept of leadership are actually undermining the FAMILY over which God has establish you the head. And in the end, God will ask you to account for why your Household did not fulfill its mission. Every household has a divine mission from God. And it is more important for my household / family to fulfill its full destiny than for me to seek to satisfy my selfish EGO.

    On the other hand, I would give advice to the woman. You must be wise, especially if you know that YOUR HUSBAND IS INSECURE. You must lean the wisdom for approaching him with your good idea. The goal here is not to prove to him that you know more than he does, or to expose him. This must not be about you and him. It is about THE MISSION.


    It is true that some men are so insecure that no matter how the woman approaches him, it still becomes a problem. In that case, ask God to guide you. This is a different topic that I cannot talk about here.

    So, dear Brother - I am a man like you: YOU ARE THE LEADER/HEAD. But this is not about your own little EGO. Remember: FOCUS ON THE MISSION. PULL YOUR TEAM TOGETHER and take advantage of all the expertise in your household, including that of your wife. The more you get your wife involved, the better for you because that brings two heads together to tackle the issues you face.