I Wish I Had Married My Ex-Boyfriend

Hello people I trust you are all doing great, we thank God for the grace to see another end of month and for this we are grateful to God. I want to use this opportunity to obey my pastor's instruction by inviting women within Lagos to the discovery for women program in my church coming up this Sunday 1st of October. It's promises to be a wonderful time in God's presence. Please see the flier below.
In today's post, I want us to learn from the story of a wife in a troubled marriage. I pray to God that this wife whose story I share will stumble on this post and learn and heal, and also that someone needing it will get to read it and heal too in Jesus name.

A young and gentle wife is married to a husband who has absolutely no regard for their marriage vows. His wife earns more than he does so he is she is the breadwinner of the family. She takes care of the bills in the house, and it has gotten so bad that even if the husband manages to pick up some of the bills and pay for stuff for the family, he finds a means of getting a refund from his wife. It is also on good record that he is having extra-marital affairs, so the money he can’t spend on his family he is spending it outside of his marriage. His wife has prayed and trusted God but this man just wouldn’t change. His wife is one of those gentle spirited beings who can’t seem to hurt a fly and it just seem this man is gladly taking her for a ride. She has tried to meet and satisfy his demands and at no point will he ask her for money and she would refuse him. She just gets to do it to avoid his trouble.

Accidentally the wife came across her ex-boyfriend that she dated while in the university who also seem to be having troubles with his marriage and he has become her source of comfort since they meet again. He is never too busy for her and always eager to help her with any trouble she may be having. She confides in him on everything that is happening to her and he always has the right words for her. This ex-boyfriend seem to be all that her husband is not and now there is the regret of why she didn’t get married to him in the first place. Or maybe his return to her life is just God answering her prayers more so that he is also in a troubled marriage as she is in now.

Response

I will start by saying that temptation is still not a sin. To be tempted is not the problem, falling into that temptation is where the problem is. God will not answer a prayer by making the person praying commit a sin. The first thing that I will advise this woman and any other woman in this kind of problem is first to run from anything that looks like sin. If your husband is looking for a way to do away you then you give him all the reasons in the world to achieve what he wants and if you say that ‘but he is also cheating,’ well that doesn’t translate to you cheating too. Two wrongs never make a right. The comfort you are getting from your ex-boyfriend while being married is false, it’s evil and will lead to trouble so run away from such ungodly comfort.

I have mentioned it in one of my post that when you pray about your marriage, you don’t just sit in and wait for a magic. Prayer without deed is dead. But when you pray about your marriage, ask the Lord to show you what to do that will bring about the desired change in the situation you are praying about. When you ask God to change your husband, understand that you are still the instrument with which God will make a change in his life. Peter said in 1 Peter 3:1-2 that even if you are married to an unbeliever, it is through the purity and reverence of your life that your husband will be won over to God. So you are God’s change agent in the life of your husband and so you need to seek God to know those changes you need to effect in your life that will bring about a change in the life of your husband and ask also to help you make those changes.

When you have prayed, then listen to the voice of God. Pay attention to what He tells you and backs up with His word in the Bible. God will not ask you to take an action that is contrary to His word found in the Bible. If what you hear in your spirit man is contrary to what you read in your Bible then it is not God speaking to you. And when you have crosschecked the instruction that God has laid upon your heart with what is written in the Bible and they are one and the same, then run with it. Obey that word and never get tired of obeying until you see the result that you seek for.

You can’t buy love, so live in the reality that no matter the amount of money you spend on your husband if he wouldn’t love you, he would not. He will keep collecting that money and still misbehave. So don’t depend on money to make it happen for you. Keep your focus on God. There are things you can do to attract his love, so prayerfully find out what those things are and start to do them. 

The Bible tells us to submit to our husbands in everything as wives (Ephesians 5:22-24), so if your husband demands for the money give him in obedience to the word of God and not as a means to lure him to love you more. Let God and His word be the focus of everything you do in your marriage. It’s an investment that would yield it returns in good season.

And gentleness is not a guarantee of a successful marriage. Even in marriage there is a time to speak and there is a time to be quiet. But just make sure that God is the focus of any action you take in your marriage. There will be a time the Spirit of God will lead you to speak and there will be a time the Spirit of God will instruct that you be quiet. Prayers and submission in marriage work miracles and I can testify to that in my personal life.

Your marriage will come alive again and your husband will be all that God has destined him to be, but you are going to play a very big role in making that change happen with God leading you in it. Don’t think you know what to do or you can make it happen by yourself. If you have not made it happen till now it’s because you can’t do it on your own and you need help. So seek God for that help and be willing and ready to do exactly as He instructs. If you are confused get your Bible and read. The word of God is alive and active and it brings about great and positive changes if you are willing and ready to do what it says. 
If you have been blessed by this, and you have learned much from this eye opening marriage write up, you might want to check more books inspired by the Holy Spirit and written by me on My Book Store here. These are books written based on the truth of the Bible, and are guaranteed to make a huge and positive difference in every area of your life. They are worth more than their money value and they will bless your life greatly. If you buy now, you will enjoy great discounts on purchase. But nevertheless, you will always have a seasoned word from God on this blog that will bless your life absolutely for free.