A Secret for the Financially Success Wife

One of the big issues in marriage is finances, and understandably so. The Bible, in fact, tells us that the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil—1 Timothy 6:10. The financial issues of marriage come in various shapes and forms. Either the husband is not doing enough, or the wife is not helping. But one common tool of the devil in destroying homes and marriages is money. No matter how resolute couples are not to let money come between them, that issue finds a way of raring its ugly head in the peace of stable homes, causing havoc on its way.  

In today’s blog, I want to address one common aspect of financial issues in marriage that we are not so mindful of as wives. So, I kind of want to speak to the financially successful wife. All wives need to engage God’s wisdom in their marriages. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 24:3-4 that through wisdom, a house is built, and with understanding, it is established. We are also aware that the wise woman builds her house (Proverbs 14:1). So, I won’t be wrong to say that the success of a marriage is largely dependent on the building ability of the wife and her wisdom level.

While the wives need to seek and consume large chunks of wisdom, the successful wife needs to double her quest for wisdom if she is to build her house. If, as a wife, you have any advantage over your husband in any way, it is not a tool to overpower or suppress your spouse. It is a tool given to you by God to support him and enable him to be all that God has called him to be.

With that said, how do we support our husbands with our success? Some wives have diligently picked up bills on behalf of their husbands, taken care of financial issues in the home, and done remarkably well but killed it all with the attitude that followed afterward. There is no use doing so much, and then all your husband hears from you is how you saved his life and bought all the appliances in the house and paid the children’s school fees and going on and on and on about what you have brought to the table and contributed to the marriage. It would have been better if you hadn’t done all that than to do it and never stop talking about it.

The side effect of this attitude is that rather than being grateful for your support, your husband will detest you for it. Your continuous narrations and highlights bring out the inadequacy in your husband. You telling him daily how you have helped him has killed all the help. One truth you must realize is that without you saying it out loud, he knows and appreciates it. He is proud of your support, but when it comes from you, it kills the value of what you have done. So, when providing support, please do it without making a fuss about it. You should not expect gratitude from your husband but praise from God, who gave you the resources you are helping with and has assigned you to help in the first place.

When you wonder why your husband is not acknowledging your help or being grateful for it, check the attitude you have built around the support you have provided. One story in the Bible that speaks so well to this point for me is the story of Abigail, Nabal’s wife, found in 1 Samuel 25:2- end. The Bible tells us that Nabal was a wealthy but foolish man with a beautiful and intelligent wife named Abigail. Nabal had insulted David, thereby touching the tail of a lion, and David had sworn not just to kill Nabal but his entire household. David had prepared to take off for the mission of massacre when Abigail heard of the trouble that her husband had caused. She immediately swung to action to save the situation, providing supplies to appease David and remove the disaster about to befall her husband and his house. But verse 19 tells us that she didn’t tell her husband about it. Abigail did what she had to do but didn’t make any fuss about it.  God, who saw all that happened, rewarded Nabal and Abigail according to their input in the matter. God killed Nabal, and Abigail married David.

When you help and support your husband based on the resources God has given you, note one thing: you are not doing your husband a favor; you are simply fulfilling your God-given assignment for which your husband and home are beneficiaries. The more you fulfill your God-given assignment in that regard, the more resources will be poured into you by God. And when you don’t kill it all with a proud and self-gratifying attitude, you maintain the peace and stability of your home and, above all, earn the respect and love of your husband.  

 

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