How to Train Up a Child in the Way of the Lord: Biblical Parenting Tips

When one comes across a naughty child in public, the first thing one wonders about is: “Who are the parents of this child?” The first thing that society questions is the quality of training that this child was given by their parents in the privacy of their home. It is generally believed that it is what a child is taught at home that they display in public.

A child who is in trouble in school would have their parents summoned to school, and the underlying discussion would be the quality of training the child is getting at home. So, training a child is a very important part of parental assignment.

A parent is not just to feed, clothe, shelter, and love a child, but they are also supposed to instill good values and morals in that child for many reasons. First, so that they can be valuable members of the community; for their own advancement in life (your attitude determines your altitude); and for the peace of the parents who trained them. Proverbs 19:13 says, “A foolish son is his father’s ruin.”

In my own words, to train a child is to teach them specific values, norms, skills, and knowledge for the goal of making the child a good vessel in God’s hands, a good contributor to the community, a good person for their own growth when they are old, and a source of peace for the parent who trained them.

Training a child is a holistic, beneficial task that does not come easy. Training a child is better imagined than lived, and it takes a lot of effort, prayers, intentionality, determination, love, and courage. Putting all these together in one word, training a child is work.

Some of the questions I want us to address in this blog article are: “When does training a child begin?” “How can we train our children effectively?”; “Do you stop training a child when they are old?” By the time we are able to address these things, I believe we will be able to learn a thing or two as parents assigned to train children for the Lord.

Why Is Training a Child Important According to the Bible?

Malachi 2:15 says, “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.”  

From the scripture above, we know for a fact that one of God’s expectations from married couples is that the Lord was seeking godly offspring from their union. We also read in Genesis 18:19 that God chose Abraham so that he would teach his children and household after him to keep the way of the Lord.

So the task of training a child is not just about a parent falling in love with the child they birth and wanting the best for them; it is an assignment handed down to parents by God. So when a person feels like he has a call of God on his life and he has been blessed with children, that first call is to train your child or children in the way of the Lord.

When Should Parents Begin Teaching Children About God?

I have mentioned the benefits of training a child, and also noted that training a child is an assignment from God, but when does the training start? To train is to teach a skill; we begin to teach our children from the moment they are born, even when we don’t realize it.

The first skill we teach them is how to latch on to the breast to feed, and for some who are bottle-fed, we train them to feed from the bottle. And the training takes different forms at different phases of their lives.

But as they grow, the curriculum changes. It’s no longer about how to feed, training them to walk or talk, or how to grip things. It proceeds to teaching them not to lie, to treat others with kindness and respect; to know and maintain boundaries. We go on to teach them about hard work; we introduce them to different career choices.

 But the most important teaching they need to learn is that we teach them about God. 1 Samuel 1:22 shows something about the training of a child in a way that I think we need to see.

1 Samuel 1:21-22 says, “When the man Elkanah went up with his family to offer the annual sacrifice to the Lord and to fulfill his vow, Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, ‘After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the Lord, and he will live there always.’”

Hannah left her son in the house of the Lord right from when he was weaned. You would argue that she was fulfilling a vow she made to God, but the story of Samuel speaks volumes about the fact that the foundation of his life was rooted in the house of God.

When we want our children to make a great impact through their lives, the first decision we need to make on their behalf is to root their foundation in God. That does not imply taking our children to church and leaving them there, but it means teaching them about God and grounding them in the things of God as soon as they begin to speak.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The training you need to teach them, and that they will grow with, is the training in the knowledge of God, and that training starts when they are young because that training is the foundation on which they build other aspects of their lives.

But before we discuss the next question, I want to say that if, before you understand life better, you didn’t start your children with the knowledge of the things of God, it’s never too late to start. It would have been easier to start early, but it is more dangerous never to start at all. The Lord seeks godly offspring from you as a parent.

With that said, the next thing I want us to learn is how to train our children. In my last blog article, I discussed parenting adult children, but since we have established earlier that it is easy to start training our children early, we can begin from the start.

Because the Lord Seeks Godly Offspring — discover God’s purpose for raising godly children, how to instill biblical values from an early age, lead by example, discipline with love, and nurture a lasting foundation of faith through intentional parenting.

How to Train Up a Child by Leading Through Example

One effective way to train children is to model for them the values we want to build in them. We need to start by practicing what we preach. It is counterproductive when you are telling your children to act in a certain way while you are doing the opposite. What your children see you do, they will also do. So, parents who want to train a child begin by training themselves.

Some months ago, my daughter came to seek my permission to go to an all-night party, and she said the party would end around 2.00 am and she would be sleeping at her friend’s place near the venue.

I must first say that she is an adult, 22 years of age. But she is still my daughter; I am still her parent, and she is still living with me. She was preparing for her final exams as an undergraduate, and I knew that refusing to let her go would come with some form of rebellion.

But God helped me. My response to her was a question, and I asked her that since she knew me to be her mother, had she ever seen me say I was going to an all-night party and would not sleep in my house? That question was all the response she needed to tell her friend she was not interested in the party.

My point in this story is that, by the grace of God, I try to be a living example that my children can copy, and their attitude will give me peace. What I teach them to do is also what they see me do, and if I am better off for it, they are convinced that they will also be better off if they do the same.

Biblical Child Discipline: Correcting Children with Love and Wisdom

Sometimes training a child may require tough love. I know that the society we live in is against physical abuse of children, but here is what the Bible says in the scriptures below.

Proverbs 23:13-14 says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.”

Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”

Proverbs 19:18 says, “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.”

While society frowns at the use of the rod as a form of discipline, the Bible tells us it is an escape from death. It is important that it is safer for a parent to discipline their children themselves than to have society discipline these children for them.

It is safer to correct your child with a cane in an act wrapped in love and with the goal of correction than to have that child serve jail time. So, when the Bible says that when you love your child, you discipline them, it is very correct.

But I must say that there is abuse in the home too, and that should not be wrapped in the garment of discipline. Some evil-minded parents torture their children in the name of discipline, and that is different from what Solomon is talking about in the scriptures above.

When you infuse love into discipline, that is training and correction with the goal of bringing the best out of your child. But when you take away love from discipline, and you take your frustrations out on your child, that is no longer discipline; it is torture and abuse.

Effective discipline is done in love; it is meant to correct and add value to the child. A child who is disciplined fully understands what he has done wrong and knows why he is being disciplined. The parents discipline and yet communicate the reason for the discipline so the child understands not to repeat the behavior and understands that there are consequences for wrong actions.

Anything short of what is described above is an abuse, and that is not what the Bible is telling us to do as parents.

The Role of Communication and Prayer in Raising Godly Children

Another way to train a child is to be available for your child. Training is made easy when there is an effective line of communication; a strong bond exists through a friendly and familiar relationship, and there is trust earned and held by both the parent and the child.

You can instill values in your child through the discussions you share with each other, and your child trusts you enough to share what they are thinking and experiencing, and you can guide and correct at the early signs of trouble. You need to be available to listen when they need someone to talk to.

Children listen and follow the instructions of those they trust. The importance of earning your child or children’s trust cannot be overemphasized. If you want to deposit those good values in their lives easily, earn their trust first.

And you need to pray for your children and over your children without ceasing. There is no one-size-fits-all strategy to parenting. A parent with two children has two children with different character traits and different parenting demands. And the only one with an effective parenting strategy is God.

You need to always be in the place of prayer, fighting for the souls of your children even when everything looks okay. The discernment and strategy you need daily to train your child in the way of the Lord come from God, and you tap into that resource daily in the place of prayer.

Training up a child in the way of the Lord is a lifelong assignment that requires intentionality, love, discipline, availability, and prayer. It begins when our children are young, but it does not end when they become adults. As our children grow, our parenting methods must evolve, but our responsibility to guide them in the ways of God remains.

And to answer our final question, when does parenting end? The truth is that once you become a parent, you will always be a parent. I discussed this in greater detail in my previous article, “How to Parent Adult Children: Biblical Guidance Without Control,” which I encourage you to read as a follow-up to this teaching.

  

Please find other helpful parenting blog titles below. You can click the title to read the blog.

How to Raise Godly Children: Biblical Lessons for Intentional Parenting

How Can I Raise Godly Children When I Feel Overwhelmed?

How to Parent Adult Children: Biblical Guidance Without Control

Your next faith-building book could be one click away. Shop the TWTS Book Store and discover powerful reads for marriage, family, prayer, and spiritual growth.

Click here or the image for more details