The Overseer Husband 2

It’s another gracious morning, and another glorious reason to thank God. I feel so grateful, not just to be alive, but to also be well and healthy. Just like everyone else, I have concerns, and I have battles that I am facing and challenges that are distracting my attention and in it all I am still going to praise God with all of my life because He loves more than I deserve. And I am alive and able only because of God’s loving grace. I encourage you to have the same attitude of looking beyond your present troubles and focus on Jesus. He makes all the difference.

So today we will continue on the attributes of the “Overseer Husband” that we started with yesterday, and I pray that we will be able to learn more lessons from it and apply them in our lives to make us totally different people, a kind of people that makes God’s heart leap with joy. 

1 Timothy 3:1-5

Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not mange his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)   

We've looked at the first three attributes in yesterday’s post, and so today we will continue from the fourth.

Self-Controlled: The dictionary defines self-control as “control or restraint of oneself or one’s actions, feelings, etc”. But I will like to define self-control as “the ability to put one’s emotions in check at all times.” So the overseer husband should not be one given to emotional outburst too often. For an overseer husband, when confronted with any situation, it is important that you think it through properly before reacting and not reacting first before thinking it through later. This is very important, not just the overseer husband, but for every child of God. Your actions are valuable and weighty, spend them wisely.

Respectable: Again the dictionary meaning of respectable says “worthy of respect or esteem; estimable; worthy.” So this husband must be someone who has earned the respect of his family first and the outside world in general. And sincerely this brings to mind the complaints of some wives whose husbands are so good and kind to the outside world but mean and unkind to their wives and in some other cases even their children. If only the men understand the important role their wives play in their lives and the kind of value she carries for them. The first place to show kindness and love is in the home to your family which consist of your wife and children and then in flows out from there and not the other way round. The people who hold valuable packages from God for your life are your wife and children; they should always come first. Those are the ones you should attach importance to. Your business partners and your colleagues and friends are like flowers that color the trees and whither in no time; they are very temporal in your life.

Hospitable: Someone who is hospitable should be a person who is warm, friendly, favorably receptive, kind, cordial, open, welcoming, sociable and generous. These should be the attributes of an overseer husband. Not a husband that comes into the house and the entire family runs into hiding. He should be a husband whose wife is free to talk to and relate with openly. He should be a father who is both firm and friendly with his children all in one.

Of what use is a shepherd whose sheep are running away from or afraid to talk to. If you are such an overseer in your household I believe it time to make that positive change. Being the head of the family does not entail be cruel and unkind to those under your authority.

Able to Teach: Interesting that this is coming just after hospitable, because the most effective ways to teach is to be close to those whom you want to teach so that you know their areas of weaknesses and where to put in more effort in teaching, and to teach through the examples they see and copy from you. You cannot instruct someone to go left while you are going right and be sure they will obey. They might obey while you are watching but the moment you turn your back, be sure they are doing the direct opposite of your instruction and just walking behind your footsteps. Effective leadership is the leadership by example and in other cases the servant leadership.

Not Given to Drunkenness: Proverbs 31:4-7 reads, “It is not for kings, O Lemuel – not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more." This is the scripture that came to mind on the issue of drunkenness, and I will implore overseer husbands to ask themselves this question; are you in the category of kings or you belong to those perishing and in anguish. The answer to this search question tells you what next to do and what God expects of you. If you have to drink, please do it in moderation and don’t get drunk.

Even though I would love to finish off on this and then we can gist about another interesting topic in marriage, I believe I should stop this and continue in the next post so I don’t get this post too long to read.

I am very grateful to God for the revelation of His word to us and personally I have learned a lot of things. Now I understand God’s standard for my husband and though I know and acknowledge that I cannot change him personally, I know how to pray for him.

I pray that as we begin the New Year, the men will know better God’s expectations for their lives and begin to make necessary adjustment where necessary. I also pray that the wives reading this will understand God’s standard for their husband and pray the necessary changes into the lives of husbands. Now you have a better understanding of what should be in your year’s prayer request for your husbands. May the Lord bless our homes and marriages in Jesus name.