I think I Got it All Wrong

Its another story day, and I pray and trust that we had a restful God-filled weekend. So I believed we are fully refreshed for the new week, the last week of the first month of the year 2017 and pray we still remain focused on giving the best to life and getting the best from life in return.

So today I will share another story and I pray to God that this story will bless your soul and impact your life and marriage positively in Jesus name.

Issue

I was dating this guy and we were so very much in love with each other. Everything seem so fine and we had begun to make wedding arrangements until his parents kicked against the marriage stating that they would not allow their son marry a nobody and that they have picked a wife for him from the daughters of their rich friends and that was final. My fiancé stood his grounds for me and insisted I was the one he loved and I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with but all these fell on deaf ears and the fight between him and his parents because of me started and began to grow.

In the course of all these, I became pregnant and my fiancé took full responsibility for the pregnancy. He rented an apartment for me and my unborn baby and gave me the full attention I needed. In truth I didn’t lack anything from him, but the pregnancy didn’t make his parents change their mind and the pressure on him from them didn’t reduce. Eventually he gave in to their demands on the condition that they will also him to marry me as a second wife. He explained to me and pleaded with me to understand what he was going through but that though he will marry the lady his parents are forcing him to marry, he will also marry me and never stop loving me. 

I gave birth to our baby and our joy knew no bounds. But the situation brought about by his parents was beginning to eat up the once loving relationship we had. Though he took care of me and his child and gave us all the love and attention we needed, but I still could not bring myself to face the reality that was playing out before me; that the man I love with my life was going to be a husband to someone else. I could not stand the thought of sharing my man with another woman.

Soon he got married to the other lady to please his parents but showered me still with so much love. As a matter of fact he had started making plans for us to get married quietly since that was the condition he agreed on with his parents. But as some point I could not take the madness any longer. The thought of sharing my man with another woman was not what I bargained for. Life had not been fair to me, I had just being deprived of the man that I have loved with my life and I didn’t see the need to fight anymore since he has married another woman. I called off the relationship and moved out of the apartment he rented for and our baby. He begged me frantically and pleaded with me to stay, but my mind was made up. He was not mine after all, because if he was, he won’t be married to another woman.

But the worst of the blows that life has dealt me is that I got married to another man who is a far cry from my fiancé. He lacks the knowledge of love, and does not know how to take care or love a woman. I have become his constant punching bag and I lack peace and love in this marriage. I have a good mind of taking a walk from this marriage but where do I go from here. How do I begin again? Is there something that I have done wrong to deserve this fate? I am really confused and I need help.

Response

At times like this, the ideal person to run to is God, and when you do, you must be prepared to listen to His voice and do exactly what He tells you to do because with God, you can never get it wrong.

You don’t have to do anything wrong for life to throw it’s darts of challenges at you. These challenges are designed not to break you but make you stronger. It’s sad that the man you love had to go that way, but the hidden question is that is he really God’s choice for you? In all of this submission I have not heard you talk about prayers, so what that tells me is that you have been trying to solve your problems with the limited knowledge that you have which obviously is not adequate for the issue at hand.

Your former fiancé may be a very nice and loving guy, but he made his decisions and he has to stand by it. I am sure he is not aware of the very many headaches attached to polygamy for him to take such a gamble on his life and destiny. But no matter how loving and caring he is, the fact still remains that he is married to another woman and you are too special to God to be a second wife.

On the issue of your husband, I will say to you in truth that there is an element of love logged very deep down in his heart, the assignment for you now is to begin to dig deep into his heart and bring out that love; bring it to the surface where you can enjoy it. The love belongs to you, it was put there for you, so search it out, dig it up and make it work for you.

The two most effective way of digging up love in a man is through submission and prayers, these two will do the job for you. And then when you begin to exhibit the values of a wife of noble character that we finished a series of discussion on as found in Proverbs 31:10-31, you will not just earn his love, you will also earn his respect.

So I will advise that you forget what is past, make the best of what is at hand and lean on God for wisdom, power, strength and support to pull you through. These challenges are not designed to break you but to make you stronger. You are a victor and you need to begin to see yourself and treat yourself as one.