Where Do I Go From Here

I bless God that you made it to this year 2017 and first I want to wish you a very Happy New Year. May all your expectations in the Lord this year not be cut short. I will plead with you as I pray for myself and my household that this will be a year of developing and maintain a very strong tie with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Then you are assured of living in abundance even in the midst of famine.

So we continue to learn the valuable lessons of marriage so that we are well grounded and adequately equipped for all that the enemy may throw at us in the name of challenge and distractions. My prayer is that the Lord God Almighty will use this blog to cut down the divorce rates all over the world, and help couples understand that they are not each other’s enemies but rather they have a common enemy who is working tireless to endure that they do not attain the fullness of their God given potentials and destiny.

So today I will share another story. And I pray and hope we are able to learn valuable lessons from it that will enhance our own marriages.

Issue

Marriage for me has been 100% misery. The big problem that I am facing now is that if I leave, I don’t know where I am leaving to or how to start all over again. First of all, for a reason I don’t understand, I and my husband and children are living with my mother-in-law in her house. And this is a situation I dare not contest or protest about. My husband lost his well-paying job and his mother convinced him not to get another job but rather join her in the so-called family business. Now we live off the crumbs that falls of my mother-in-law’s table. We can’t buy anything or spend any money without her knowledge and approval. It is so bad that she has assumed the role of the spiritual head in my husband’s life and so whatever she says is as good as “thus says the Lord” and must be obeyed. My husband has now taken to drunkenness and late nights. We can’t even communicate with each other as husband and wife. My mother-in-law is a widow and my husband is her only child, but this situation is the worst that any wife can find herself. I don’t have a job and so I don’t earn income. I can’t even provide for my children, I just have to make do with what almighty mother-in-law makes available. I am miserable and I need help.

Response

I am trying to imagine what you are going through and how uncomfortable you are in that situation, but you don’t have a problem that defies solution. At the throne of God you will find grace to cope in the meantime and help to move you to the next level. You will pray and pray yourself out of that situation.

I believe that God will not let you be in a situation that His grace fitted into the ability He has placed in you cannot see you through. So you will stop to pity yourself and get ready to do battle.

Your husband is in a dilemma; he has walked himself into a situation he is most likely regretting and because he is frustrated he has taken to drunkenness and late nights. No well-meaning man will have to depend on his mother to take care of his family and be happy with that situation; so he is a frustrated and miserable man. You need to understand that your husband is not your problem, he is probably going through too much for him to handle as it is. But you are God’s assigned helper in his life. So you need to understand also that you are God’s instrument of change in the situation of your husband and your family as a whole.

First you need to find your way to Jesus; you need to develop a relationship with Jesus. Get your Bible and start to read it; that is your sword for fighting the battle that lies ahead of you. Pray that the Lord will open up His word to you. Get instructions on how to fight this battle from your Bible which is the word of God and run with those instructions. When you do, you are guaranteed to win.

You will pray that the Lord will open heavens for your husband and that he gets another job, then you will pray that the Lord will provide another accommodation for you and your family. The word of God says that “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh,” this word is not effective in your marriage and so you will pray to God that His spoken word in Genesis 2:24 will be the active word in your marriage. When your husband gets a new job and a new accommodation I believe you will have respite and a bit of breathing space. 

While still praying, you will submit to your husband and respect him despite the situation you both are in. You will pray that the Lord will fill your husband with Himself and His glory so that whatever instructions come from your husband is coming from the Lord and you will find ease to obey. When you do this, you will earn your husband's love and attention again. 

You don’t need to make your mother-in-law your enemy, just pray for her to have a better understanding of the ways of God so she will not ignorantly dominate your life as a result of her selfish emotions. Your husband and his mother are not your enemy; they are only tools in the hands of your true enemy which is the devil to distract you and your husband from being all that God has destined you to be.

You are God’s battle axe in that family and so you need to find your way to the throne of grace to obtain grace and mercy and power from God to wage war against that which is waging war against your peace. I am very positive that with Christ you will succeed.