Are Wives Allowed to Correct their Husbands?

Hello beautiful people, I trust we are all doing great to the glory of God. I feel blessed to be alive today and more importantly to be alive to serve the living God. I pray that in Jesus name, the Lord will use me to make an impact in the life and marriage of someone today to the glory and praise of His name alone.

As I was praying and trusting God on what to share today, this question came to mind and this I believe is what the Lord will want us to address in today post. The question is: “Are wives allowed to rebuke their husbands when such a husband is obviously doing something wrong?” This has been a major issue in marriage when wives think they can correct their husbands if and when necessary; and so we will be doing some Bible digging to see if that is allowed in marriage.

Genesis 12:11-13

As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful women you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, “This is his wife. ‘Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.’”

Genesis 20:11-13

Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife. And when God caused me to wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”’”

1 Samuel 25:14-19

One of the servants told Nabal’s wife Abigail: “David sent messengers from the desert to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. Yet these men were very good to us. They did not ill-treat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. Night and day they were a wall around us all the time we were herding our sheep near them. Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no-one can talk to him.”

Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grains, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I will follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.

2 Samuel 6:20, 23

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls and his servants as any vulgar fellow would.”

And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.

These are scriptures in the Bible where I find the answer to our question addressed or should I say reflecting. And from my own interpretation of these Bible passages what I can conclude is that it’s not in the place of a wife to correct her husband where he is wrong or right. This might not sound pleasant to a lot of people but it is the truth of the word of God. Ephesians 5:22 says wives should submit (obey) to their husbands as to the Lord. So what God is invariably saying is that the kind of reverence and obedience you give to Him as God, same you should give to your husband. So if you cannot correct God when you think His pattern is not what you think it should be, then in same manner, you cannot correct your husband when you think his pattern is not what you think it should be.

A lot of disagreements, violence, discords, chaos in marriage would be averted when you as a wife understand and appreciate that you cannot correct your husband when you think he is not doing it right. That is beyond your scope of engagement as his wife. It is beyond your God given assignment as his wife. It is a no go area for you. You cannot change your husband, so don’t bother trying. You are not God, so don’t try playing one in his life.

So if I have said that a wife cannot correct her husband when he is treading on a wrong path, what can she then do to put him back on the right path as his suitable helper? Well all you can do is to run back to His maker and your Maker and the God who placed you in his life as a suitable helper to report the situation to Him and let Him handle it. Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is in the hands of the Lord; He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases.” That king includes your husband. Once you call God’s attention to the situation, He swings into action and makes amend where and when necessary in the life of your husband.

You can also do what intelligent Abigal, the wife of mean and surly Nabal did. When she heard of the blunder her husband had committed, she never even challenged him; she didn’t even talk to him about what she had heard. The Bible said she lost no time in correcting the gaffe herself without even letting her husband know. She swiftly right her husband’s wrong and that settled it. All these simple acts of wisdom never passes God, because that same Abigail became the wife of David after the death of her mean and surly husband Nabal.

Then Sarah the mother of all godly women simply obeyed her husband’s foolishness without a challenge. That to a lot of women is the height of foolish submission, but in truth that is godly wisdom put in display. Sarah understood that obedience to her husband meant obedience to God. And this foolish wisdom didn’t go unnoticed or unrewarded by God. Sarah remained a beautiful woman till her death and at the age of 90years, she had her covenant with God fulfilled.

You would want to ask me if it’s okay to see your husband do something wrong and just not say a word to dissuade him or try putting him in the right path. Well wisdom they say is profitable in all things; if your husband’s mistake is a genuine oversight on his part, there is no sin in pointing out his mistake to him or calling his attention to his error politely and with well chosen soothing words. Also when your husband is about to take a decision and he requests for your input or advice on the matter, there is no sin in giving him your candid opinion in a loving manner even when your own opinion contradicts his views. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones,” invest a lot of this in your marriage and you will reap the harvest of peace, love and joy.

But when you know the husband you have married not to be one who welcomes advice from you, then my word for you is to pray for him when you think he is taking a wrong step or you want a character trait in his life changed. Never try to play God in your husband’s life, just pray for him that the Lord will fill him up with His Spirit that will always lead your husband to act in accordance with the will of God for his life. You prayer goes a long way, far more than you can imagine.

Michal tried to correct her husband David based on her own judgment of what she thinks should be right for him. First her method of rebuke was very wrong and then her purpose of rebuke was also not called for. But can one really blame her; she rebuked based on what she thought should be, and that rebuke led to her being barren till she died. David her husband chastised her in words, and then God crowned her punishment with barrenness. So as a wife, never jump into conclusions on what you think should be right or wrong, you don’t have the monopoly of knowledge, we are all continuously learning. What is wrong is your own view might be permissible by God, so just pray and let God handle things in a manner He alone can.

May the Lord bless our homes.