Let's Discuss the Husbands

In the course of our first Silver Lining Couple’s Clinic program we had last year, I learned more than I thought I knew about the male gender and while we think the wives need to do so much to make a marriage work, the husbands need to do a lot more. Based on the societal believes the male are the gods who must be obeyed and judging from the instructions from God as found in the Bible which states that wives must submit to their husbands as unto God, that seems to be true.

But with leadership comes a huge responsibility. The leader in Christ wasn’t One who lord it over those who followed Him, but Christ led through service. Like Pastor Myles Munroe called it then, it was a servant-leader style of leadership. So unlike what the society has made up believe in which some have convenient backed it up with scripture without considering the context holistically, the man is actually required to lead his wife in the pattern in which Christ led the church and that leadership style is known as the servant leadership style. That kind of leadership that puts those you lead before yourself. It’s the sacrificial kind of leadership. It’s very different from the master-servant; a husband-wife relationship that is playing out in the society today.

So, the leadership of the husband just like we have in the leadership of Christ, is the leadership that protects, it’s the leadership that provides, it’s the leadership that advocates, it’s the leadership that defends, it’s the leadership that listens, it’s the leadership that encourages, it's the leadership that cares, and above all it’s the leadership that loves unconditionally. I want to believe that if most wives have husband-leaders with these qualities then submitting to such a leader will not be a problem, and then a lot of marriage crisis will be averted.

So as a husband, what kind of a leader are you? Are you the Christlike leader who practices the servant-leader style of leadership or are you just the boss-master? In order to have your wife submit to you whereby you can go to sleep rest assured that your home is at peace, then you need to follow after the pattern of Christ and adopt the servant-leader style of leadership. With prayers and practice, it gets easier and more rewarding. And like my dear friend Deji Irawo would always say, its time to begin to unlearn the errors that have so far shaped humanity and relearn that which promotes.