Lessons On Sex In Marriage

Hello beautiful people of God, I bless God for your lives and the grace to be used by God in bringing about great and positive difference in your homes. We’re getting ready for Christmas and I must confess that I am excited even though I am still trusting God for a relaxing Christmas vacation for me and my family; so I am also praying for open heaven on the finances of my family.

In today’s post I want to be a little silly and talk about sex in marriage. I have done this several times on this blog so I think I am getting more confidence and boldness to speak about sex far more than when I made the first attempt.

There are a lot of beautiful roles or should I say purpose that sex plays in marriage and so it’s just important that we keep talking about it for a healthy marriage. In my post today I will try to highlight some habits that we either need to imbibe or throw away in order to encourage a healthy sex life in our marriage.

• The first habit you need to imbibe in order to encourage attraction between you and your spouse that would lead to sex is good personal hygiene. I have come to understand and appreciate that a bad body or mouth odor does not encourage sex between couples. Mere sitting close to someone with a bad body or mouth odor tends to repel not to then talk of body contact that would lead to sex. As a man or a woman who desires good sex with his or her spouse, try to put a good effort into your personal hygiene. If your work makes you sweat a lot then ensure you wash your body as soon as you get back home from work. Invest in deodorants, body sprays, and perfumes. Also, ensure that you take care of your breath. If you have a mouth odor and it seems to become embarrassing, try to visit the doctor to make sure there is no infection of any kind. Then invest in mints; mint gums and mint sweets are known to help freshen one's breath. This, as we know, should be added regular brushing of teeth and cleaning of the mouth. And when you are the kind who indulges in alcohol (especially beer), try to kill the stench that comes with its heavy consumption before seeking for seeking from your spouse in case he/she is not one to indulge in alcohol. 

• I am not sure if I have mentioned this before while writing about sex, but I have not come across any part of the Bible where God prescribed the style of sex approved for married couples. What I have read in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 is that the wife does not have authority over her body but yields it to her husband, and in the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. And that the two should not deprive one another except for mutual consent and just for a time. So I will say this, there is no Biblical restriction to sex between married couples. Married couples can perform any style of sex as long as it is pleasing to both of them and makes them happy. When you are making love with your spouse, always look out for his/her pleasure and satisfaction more than yours. When he/she is enjoying the act that is when it is called lovemaking. This is strictly for married couples, not for those engaged to be married, keep your marriage bed undefiled.

• Emotions play a vital role for lovemaking to really be lovemaking and be enjoyed between married couples; as a husband, take your time to make your wife happy if you want her to serve you well in bed. And as a wife, take your time to make your husband happy if you want him to yield his body to you.

A lot of people use sex as a punitive measure against their spouse when they feel hurt by their spouse and want to get back at them. This is so very wrong and against God’s instruction for our marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 says the husband should fulfill his marital wife to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband. So the act of love making is a duty just like the duty of providing for the family. It is not a duty to be relegated to the bottom of our priority list in marriage. Then each couple should know that you owe sex to your spouse. And it is not a tool of punishment in marriage. The husband does not have authority over his body but yields it to his wife and the wife does not have authority over her body but yields it to her husband. They are both not to deprive one another except for mutual consent which is for a short while. Any action other than this is a sin.

When there is a misunderstanding between married couples and the issue of sex is introduced by any of the two, the proper action to take is to suspend the fight and deal with the urge for sex. Satisfy each other and if you then feel like resuming the fight after you are through, you can go ahead, which I am positive that as Christian that would not be the case.

I sincerely hope we are getting better understanding concerning a lot of hidden and unspoken issues in marriage. In my next post I would be sharing on the issue of money and our marriage. It's another of the important factors of a happy marriage that needs to be discussed repeatedly so that we have a healthy marriage. I trust the Lord to open up His word to us and give us clarity as we make effort to please Him with our marriages.