Why do Wives Cheat?

Good afternoon to all the wonderful children of the living God, those who are fearfully and wonderfully made in the perfect image of the Almighty God; princes and princesses of the heavenly Kingdom. I pray and trust that your day so far has been blessed and you are experiencing divine favor in areas of your life that you least expect. Don’t worry about those things that aren’t looking so good at the moment, the story is not complete without your victorious ending. So just hang in there and keep believing; hang your faith on Jesus because there can be no end without you rejoicing.

A thought came to my mind and I just think it necessary that I share something based on that thought. When we want to talk about infidelity in marriage we often see the wife as the victim and the husband as the accused. But it truth women also cheat on their husbands. We have countless cases of infidelity in marriages where the wife is the accused. So today I want us to have a look at this scenario and just discuss it.

My children were trying to study their Social Studies and they came to me for confirmation of the definition of Polyandry. And my daughter said Mummy, "I believe polyandry means a woman who is married to more than one husband at the same time." Because I know that to be the true definition of the word, I couldn’t help but confirm it to be. But it felt really strange that we will have a woman married to more than one husband at the same time. It really feels good to believe that the woman is the righteous one; the one who never does wrong within the pair; the one who is always cheated on but never cheats. But for a word like Polyandry to exist, it’s because the act that defines that word really does happen.

Now, why will a woman want to cheat on her husband? Why will a woman soil her soul and not just her body? Quite a number of women might say they did it or are doing it because they want to get back at their husbands; some will say they are doing it because their husbands are not satisfying them in bed; some others will do it for money and fame; while some do it for lust. But going through all of these possible reasons, I am yet to come across one reason that is quite good enough a reason to justify this sin.

In as much as I do not stand as a judge in anyone's private matter, but my thought is that does the woman doing this have God in perspective in what she is doing. Is that God’s best option for her? Is her action worth the consequences that accrues to it? These are some of the guiding thoughts that one needs to consider before doing whatever it is one does whether good or bad. And in this case bad.

If a woman decides to go sleep with another man just because her husband is sleeping with another woman then she is just as guilty as her husband – if not more. Two wrongs never make a right. If your husband is doing something wrong and you are God’s ordained help for his life, then how do you intend to help him when you are just as deep in adultery as he is if not more? Can this act of foolish revenge make your husband stop his adulterous lifestyle or it will rather give him a good excuse to kick you out of his life and bring in a strange woman?

With all sense of humility I will say that it is only a lazy woman who has hands but cannot work and has brains but cannot think and has knees but cannot bend them to pray that will stoop low to committing adultery for the sake of money. Luke 5:1-10 tells us the story of how Simon Peter caught two boats full of fish to the point that the boats were beginning to sink just because He obeyed Jesus. David said in Psalm 37:4 that you should delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. So what have you desired in your life that the Lord cannot give you that will make you desecrate yourself and you have to depend on man for? Do you think you are justified before God or it is that God really doesn’t count in this matter?

When you see another man who looks good and has everything working for him, you should consider it a shame on your person if you begin to lust after such a man. Now this is why; this man is probably married to another woman, if yes then a woman just like you has worked hard, prayed hard and supported her husband to become the brand that you see and are falling in lust with. The fact that you see and lust after that man means a woman like you is doing a good job on him for you to be lusting after him. Where is the evidence of your own good work on your husband? Where is the evidence of your prayers, submission and support in the life of your husband? Have you invested so much on your husband that you are not seeing results?

When a woman gives sex as an excuse for cheating on her husband, it is because she has not learned the secret of prayers. A couple of posts back I discussed on what we need to put in place in order to have exciting sex life in our marriage, have you tried your best and added prayers to it. God will not give you to a man in marriage if He cannot make you two compatible with each other on all fronts. Give your best to your husband and pray and you will get the best from him and not another man. And if it is attention and care you need from your husband, just keep giving him the attention you need, pray about it and watch God handle the rest. I have always said, take charge of what you can control and let God handle what cannot control.

Just before I close, I want to just address the men, it is true that you can’t and should not take responsibility for the wrong actions of your wife, but I want to beg you not to give her room to misbehave. When you love and care for your wife like God instructs and expects you to, then you give her less reasons to do what she ought not to do. May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus name.